Monster Bash Party Pooper

I didn't really celebrate Halloween this year. I didn't decorate, I didn't even bother to take a single tote out of the attic. I left the costume stuff up there, packed away, I didn't even buy a single Halloween decoration this year. Not a single thing. Sad, I know. I'm usually gung ho but not this year. I'm not going to decorate for Christmas either. Oh sure, I say that now....but I don't think I will change my mind. I will be leaving for home on the 22nd of Dec anyway, so my tree will die while I am away, plus the basement will be torn up while the repair the support issue in the exterior wall. Yep, so no holiday decorating for me. None at all. I didn't even carve a pumpkin. I did buy three HUGE pumpkins...they were really cheap too, but they were for Zach, Skeeter and my parents. You know, its hard to get excited about anything except that baby neice that my Sister is cookin' in her oven.

Vixen is on the loose...

Katie was one of Santa's naughty reigndeer over the weekend. Yes, she went as Vixen for Halloween. She started out with an entire costume on and somewhere over the span of the night, she lost the body suit and sported her red lace bra, but she did keep her belt on with the jingle bells attached. I guess a body suit is not "vixen" enough for a F & M Monster Bash. It makes me want to break out in song...

She's A Wild One By Faith Hill

They said change your clothes
She said no I won't
They said comb your hair
She said some kids don't
And her parents dreams went up in smoke

They said you can't leave
She said yes I will
They said don't see him
She said his name is Bill
She's on a roll and it's all uphill
She's a wild one
With an angel's face
She's a womans-child
In a state of grace
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee
He said you can be anything you want to be
She's a wild one
Runnin' free

She loves Rock and Roll
They said it's Satan's tongue
She thinks they're too old
They think she's too young
And the battle lines are clearly drawn
She's a wild one
With an angel's face
She's a womans-child
In a state of grace
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee
He said you can be anything you want to be
She's a wild one
Runnin' free

She has future plans and dreams at night
When they tell her life is hard she says that's alright
She's a wild one
With an angel's face
She's a womans-child
In a state of grace
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee
He said you can be anything you want to be

She's a wild one
With an angel's face
She's a womans-child
In a state of grace
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee
He said you can be anything you want to be
She's a wild one
Runnin' free

More shower pics, per request

(upper left)Dewey is a big kid himself, so its no wonder that kids are drawn to him. His neice and his bosses grand daughter spent lots of time on his lap. (upper right) l to r: Mom, Tisha, Dewey, and his Mom, Loretta. (Bottom left) Tisha and Dewey's baby pictures. The Elephants below are holding a baby elephant in their trunks. Tisha collects elephants so I bought that for the shower. (bottom right) We blind folded Dewey and Tisha fed him baby food. He didn't like the squash at all...but we were nice and had some desserts in there too, not just nasty veggies.
I took a bunch of pics but I was upset to realize that I took most of them on other peoples cameras....so I can't post all the good shots. Dang it. I'll get copies sooner or later.

Have you ever noticed....

Airport carpet is ugly. I don't care what airport you visit...their carpet is just the pits. Sure I know they put stuff down that is supposed to wear well and hid dirt, but come on! This is a picture of the carpet at the airport in Minneapolis. I was extremely tired and was staring at this wreck while I was waiting for my connecting flight to Omaha. I kept looking at it and thinking about how friggin ugly it was so I had to snap a picture to share it with the world. I figure if I was forced to look at this stuff...everyone else should suffer too. I was laughing at LaGuardia when I left New York. A guy was vacuuming the floor with a vacuum from the 70's. I swear my Mom had one just like it but in a different color. I was trying to figure out why he was even bothering, because it wasn't picking up any dirt. It couldn't have, because it wasn't even picking up the tiny bits of paper that looked like it came off of a spiral notebook paper. It was just making a lot of noise, trying to sound impressive. At 5AM, that kind of thing is annoying. I would have taken a picture but I was afraid in my state of mind I would have hurled the camera at the guy and told him he'd get more off that floor by licking it with his tongue. Hey, it was early and I had 3 hours sleep. What do you expect.

HEY, HOW'S THE FOOD!

LOL, I can't help it...I completely crack up when I look at this picture. Tisha looks repulsed...but really she was enjoying the food . Dewey had his cheaks full. He's still wearing the utility belt that we called his Diaper Duty Belt. It was stuffed with tons of important baby stuff, like diapers, wipes, pacifiers, rattles, rash ointment, you name it, it was there. He kept asking me if he could take it off yet and I was having fun, telling him to leave it on. I know, I'm evil. I'm still not sure why they were eating off their laps when we had tables set up. 

Like Mother, like Son...

I caught my Pop snooping out the front window. It's a small town but there is usually a lot going on if you know where to look. My Grandma Evelyn was big into looking out the window to see who was driving by or what the neighbors were doing. Her chair was always in a good window watching position and as she got older, she couldn't get around well, but she sure could stretch that neck and squint those eyes to see who was coming down the road.
Now if you ask my Pop, he will tell you that he was looking at his lawn. He's anal about crab grass. Zach, my Godson/cousin...Pops Nephew, told me to go in the house and say, "Man, you sure have a lot of Crab grass growing in the yard!" So I did. Boy, Pop got all worked up over that. Zach said that Pop was always spraying for crab grass. Hey, if it keeps my Pop out of trouble, I'm all for his current lawn fetish.
I think Pop was probably checking to see what his neighbor Jesse was up to. They are good buddies and live to give each other a hard time. If you want to keep ahead of the neighbors, you have to know what they are up to when they think you are not looking. 

Let's go on the Ferris wheel...

Well, they were 45 minutes late picking me up from the airport, but atleast I got a ferris wheel ride out of it. Long story...

I got off the plane and as I was walking to baggage claim I was looking for Deanna and the kids. I didn't see them anywhere and then I started to get paranoid. I just knew they were hiding behind something, watching me looking around for them...and they were laughing. Hey, I know them....and they are a lot like me....so, it made sense. Once I hit the bathroom, and picked up my luggage and I still had not spotted them I knew that they hadn't shown up yet. I got out my cell phone, called them and they said they got stuck behind some rock trucks in a construction zone and so the were held up. They would be there in 20 minutes. Fine, I went upstairs and bought a present for someone and then I went outside and waited. 20 minutes passed...no sight of them. Finally Zach called and said they were close and would be there soon. Another 20 minutes.....they finally showed up. The kids ratted on their Mother, explaining how she got lost and followed a hotel truck to the airport. In the end, it was Kelsie who spotted the sign for the turn to the airport. Anyway, when they pulled up I told them they were not getting a tip. Our first stop was to a HUGE sports store to get Zach sneakers for basketball. They had a ferris wheel there and I got suckered into riding on that thing with the kids while Deanna bought their stuff. Kelsie aka Skeeter insisted on riding with me so that meant that Zach and Kelsies friend Alyssa had to ride together. Let me just say, neither of them were to happy about that. Of course, I had to snap a picture of their dirty look while Kelsie was making kissing noises and saying things like..."Look at the lovers...Kissy, kissy! Keep your hands to yourself Zach!" Personally, I think Zach and Alyssa handled it pretty well...I would have kicked Kelsies butt the second we got off that ride, if I were them.
We went out for lunch, then hit a couple of stores. At Super Target I bought the kids these HUGE pumpkins for $2.99 each. We were sure they must be labled wrong because they were REALLY BIG pumpkins. They were so big that two of them took up the entire cart and the third one had to sit on the top of them. The cart was pretty hard to push too. We didn't have time to carve them....but I hope they do it before Halloween.

I'm off...

I leave the house at 3:15 AM for the airport. I'm starting my trip home for my Sister's baby shower. To top it all off...I've had a stomach bug and have not felt well for the last couple of days. Actually I'm starting to feel better but I'm not at 100% yet.

I'll see you when I get back.

uh....

chuckle, chuckle, snort, giggle.... OK, that is kind of gross and yet, I laugh. I can't help it. I have a dirty mind sometimes. I just love it when people take old pictures and add captions that suggest something perverted. One of these days I'm going to take some old family pictures and add captions for fun. Oh yes, and I know which picture I want to start with...so be warned....lol!

I miss the Tan M&M. When I was a kid, they didn't put Red M&M's in our pack. They had been pulled years before, because of something to do with the red coloring causing cancer or birth defects, I really don't remember exactly but it wasn't good. Then one day they figured out how to color it without killing their customers and Red was put back in the packages. The only problem was they got rid of Tan. The next thing you know, they added Blue. They had some kind of stupid online voting for the color they would add and blue won. I sure as hell didn't vote for Blue. You know, I miss old Tan. Sure he was bland but he melted in your mouth and not in your hand, just like the rest of the gang. He wasn't flashy and he didn't scream for attention but that was part of his charm.
They had a special addition package of M&M's a while back, perhaps they were Star Wars M&M's...I don't remember for sure, but I do know there were Tan ones in the package. Who was Tan hurting...nobody, so why pull him out of the package and replace him with Blue. It was just rude. Now you can special order any color M&M's you want. It kind of takes the fun out of it.
I bet you are wondering what got me on this subject in the first place. I was standing in line at the store and noticed a package of M&M's with all the other candy. I was reminded of my M&M eating habit. I eat all the same colors together in a certain order. Dark browns go first, followed by Blue and then Red...then I move on to Orange, then Yellow...then Green is last. It has always been like that...except when Blue and Red were not in packs and Tan took their place. Actually that is the order I eat plain M&M's if they are peanut, I reverse the Green and Yellow...Yellow is always last. Don't ask me why...I'm just strange. If they put Tan back in the regular packages, I would eat Tan last out of respect. Sheesh! Don't even get me started on how I eat Kit Kat Bars or Twix.

She's going to kill me but it has to be done.

 My Sister made me wear a full length black bridesmaid dress in July for her wedding...eleven years ago. I have never forgotten/forgiven. Hey, Nebrasky is friggin hot and humid in July! I've always thought I would play out my revenge by making her wear a baby pink dress if I got married. Frankly, I'm sick of waiting for that to happen...so I'm using this baby shower to my advantage. My sister is not one for girlie or cutesy stuff. Hehehe...I know it and so what do I do? I create a masterpiece of revenge...a lovely baby bear corsages. She's going to hate it,...and yet, she will be forced to wear it. YES, FORCED! She's going to say it makes her nauseous, just looking at it. I'm not falling for that, "I'm pregnant and things make me hurl for no reason." stuff. Nope! I will not be fooled! She will have to wear this monstrosity and if I ever do tie the knot...she WILL wear baby pink or maybe periwinkle. I'm thinking strapless, above the knee, in the middle of a Nebrasky winter. Mwahahahah....sometimes life is so grand that I can't stand it! 

Birdy go Boom...that had to hurt.

I was upstairs earlier and I noticed a funny smudge on the balcony sliding door window. I stopped and looked at it from a different angle and finally realized what it was.

You really couldn't see it that well during the day so I decided to try it later and what I got was kind of spooky looking.


The poor little guy...well, not little, it was a big bird and it hit that window hard enough to leave the a lot of feather dust on it. I'm happy to announce that the bird lived. Atleast, I couldn't find its body and it was in a place that a cat couldn't get to...so I think its safe to assume it lived to tell the other birds on the bay about its mighty battle with hurricane quality safety glass. It is kind of spooky looking...I should have saved the pictures for halloween and made up a story of a haunting by a bird. lol, nobody would have believed it anyway. Would you look at that beak! You can see the very tip of his beak...ouch!

I'd be embarassed too.

Someone is having their car worked on so they are borrowing the Honda so they can get to work. She came in, got the key and left. The next thing I know, she walked back in and and was calling my name, asking where I was. She came downstairs and asked me, "What's the trick to starting the car?" I said, "It won't start? That's strange. Did you have the clutch pushed all the way in?" The facial expression was priceless...if only I had had a camera...IF ONLY! She said, "OMG, I forgot it wasn't an automatic transmission!" With a nervous laugh she went up stairs saying how embarrassed she was, and I said not to worry about it, its an easy mistake. Honestly, if it were me, I would have felt pretty dumb too...its not the first time she has driven that car. I'm just happy that my day has not started out like that...today seems to be a good day so far.

Guess what I purchased today!?

Yes, Christmas is looming on the horizon... that is why I purchased my airline ticket home for the holidays. Yep, I dropped $437.12 on a ticket to visit the nut jobs in good old Nebraskie, aka FAMILY and FRIENDS. They would have you believe that I'm the one that drove them looney, but I'm here to tell you that I'm the only thing keeping them sane. I know, who'da thunk it! Anywhozits, It wouldn't matter if the ticket cost me a grand, I have to go home this year. I'm going to be an Auntie anywhere around Dec 4th...perhaps before, perhaps later. I'm hoping my sister crosses her legs and keeps that bun in the oven until I fly in on the 22nd of December. LOL, I think she will not be granting me my wish and I dare say, I don't blame her.
So, I have started my Christmas shopping because I want to have everything sent home before I fly in. I also need to figure out what day we are having the Kaster Christmas and where. Aunt Linda had mentioned an interest in hosting it this year. If not, Mom said she would have it on Christmas Eve (Sunday)because Tisha, baby and Dewey have to go to his Grandparents on Christmas Day. I told Mom they can go but the have to leave that baby with Auntie Nett. Mom said I have to share and that they have to see the baby too. RIGHT! Well, my feeling is that I have to fly in and won't get to see the baby in quite some time. They can put their butts in their car and drive down to see the baby so I one-up them. I win. End of story.

Our Kitchen contractor is a drama queen

OK, he doesn't smoke,wear wigs or cross dress...at least to my knowledge but never say never. It's just that he over reacts and gets everyone all worked up in to a tizzy. It's pissing me off, especially since it usually ends up being nothing. I mean, sure you can point out possible problems but don't run around with your head in your hands doing a chicken little dance, screaming, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" Geezus, I want to slap him and tell him to get a grip before he jumps off the deep end and pulls these guys with him. I have to live with them when they get all excited and start freaking out and frankly, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
Good news, the back of the house isn't falling off exactly. No, but picture this. The house has a slight capital "L" shape to it and the inside of the "L" is sinking, not because of the foundation...good news, but because of water damaged to the inside support beams. Easy enough, Just jack up the house an eighth of an inch and replace all the rotted wood, then add an extra support beam in that corner just for fun. DONE! He didn't believe out architect so he brought his own in and he told him the same thing that ours did. I'm standing there listening to the guys and our contractor kept saying, "Oh my God this is such a big deal"...ect, ect. His architect kept telling him that it wasn't anything special, its not something that requires a specialist, its a simple repair job and our contractor is not completely listening to him...so I finally had to say, Mike, cool your jets. Listen to what John is telling you. If you think you can't handle the job then I'll let Cliff and Nancy know and we will find someone else to do this and the kitchen." That shut Chicken Little right up. He's going to hate me by the time I get done with him and its not my fault.

Something funny is going on around here!

I was just outside. I was picking up the back yard which is littered with boat stuff. Life jackets, extra ropes, an oar here and there, its a real mess. Anyway I sat down on the edge of one of the lounge chairs to untangle some rope when out of nowhere this marble drops between my knees, just missing my head, hits the ground and bounces. I looked around, thinking someone was screwing with me but nobody was around. I'm going to assume that a sea gull grabbed the marble thinking it woudl taste good, but dropped it in flight, either in an attempt to open it up or it didn't taste good so he got rid of it. I know I do find oyster shells ,clam shells, crab shell parts scattered around the house, in bushes on the car and patio. The drop them and if they break they eat the goodies inside. I've always said sea gulls were rats with feathers and let me tell you, that little bastard should be thankful he missed me....there would have been hell to pay if I had a bump on my head from a marble. How do you explain that to people. It sounds like one of my Fathers stories.

Where the hell did it go! I JUST HAD IT!

This seems to be an ongoing theme in my life. I have a case of what I like to refer to as.."Did you move that?" Yes, because I swear, people move things on me just to watch me hunt for it for an hour. It's not fun. I don't enjoy walking through the house going, "Where the hell did I put the tape?" "I just had it before the phone rang!" "Did you see it?" "No seriously, are you plaing a prank on me?" "Give it back now, because if I find out you are pulling a fast one you will be in a lot of trouble." "Fess up now and you will get off with a dirty look and no revenge plotted against you." Then comes the dreaded......"Oh GEEZUS! Was it there the entire time? How could I over look that 50 times?"

In some ways I think it is better to just walk up the stairs and say,"What did I come up here for?", only to walk back down the stairs to remember. Sure its a pain in the butt but its less stressful than knowing what you are looking for and getting worked up about it because you just had it. Anyway, I'm just blogging because I was looking for my glasses...which I had 15 minutes ago....and I was hoping that I would remeber where I put them while I was doing something else. No such luck, so I'm off to search. Remind me that the next time I get new glasses, I need to pick BIG BRIGHT GREEN FRAMES...so I can see those bad boys from a mile away. Yeah, I know they won't match anything I wear, but matching is over rated.

Oh no....that's not good!

I received a photo from the 2006 Cat Show in NYC via email today. It was one of those emails that you open because it says a photo was sent to you from a friend, but it doesn't say which one. I knew it was either Chris or Raine because it was from the Cat Show. So, I open it and I see Chris immediately and for a second I think he went to the show alone....but then I see Raines forehead sticking up above the IAMS logo they put on the picture. My first response was shock, my second was nervous giggles and I rounded it out with a little anger. Seriously, if you were running a free photo booth at a cat show....as IAMS, you would know that you were plastering an add on the bottom. Don't you think you would take in account the people that are not blessed with height, like children or dainty ladies. I mean really! Come on now! I'm sure if they had known about this they would have switched places, atleast then you could have seen her face though the print. I'm going to email Raine right now. This is just wrong on so many levels. Sure I'm giggling but it still doesnt make it right. I'm just happy that these kind of things happen to other nice people too...not just to me.

Things that make me cry...

Sheesh, this is kind of embarrassing, but I'll tell you anyway. I was watching an episode of Little House on the Prairie while I was folding clothes. Yeah, it gets better....I found myself not folding and totally engrossed in the show with tears rolling down my cheeks and I was sobbing like a big baby. THERE! I admitted it! I was blubbering. I know, I was as horrified as you are, once I calmed down and blew all the snot out of my nose. I now proudly proclaim that I am pathetic.....pitifully pathetic.
So I thought I would make a short list of things that have made me cry in the not so distant past and that I am sure will trigger tears in the future.
~Little house on the prairie...especially the early years when Laura was young...and of course at the end when Albert was sick.
~Hallmark commercials and their made for TV specials...I'm not proud of it but atleast I don't blubber over those terrible Lifetime for Women shows. Sometimes the coffee commercials get to me and so do Christmas commercials.
~peeling onions
~email forwards about sick and dying children...so stop sending those things to me!
~After School Specials...remember those pathetic shows form our youth? They were terrible but I can't help it.
~hearing or seeing a friend or family member cry...its very hard for me, unless I made them cry on purpose and then its kind of funny. Joking, joking...sheesh.
~That Extreme Home Makeover Show...its those sad stories
~When people die in medical shows like ER or when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy.
~accidentally inhaling cream soda..trust me, that would make a lumber jack cry like a newborn baby.
~when my feelings are hurt by someone I thought was my friend.
~when someone says something about me that is so sweet and heartfelt.
~When I hurt myself, like when I open a cupboard door, bent down to pick up a can and smacked my head on the bottom of the door when I stood up quickly and almost caused myself to pass out as a result. I can take a lot of pain so it has to REALLY hurt.
~when I think about those I loved that have passed on
~hearing about people who have lost every worldly possession in a natural disaster.
~reading or watching the news
~when I break something that is sentimental...like the little ceramic kitty that I got from Mrs Barr.
~laughing so hard I snort and can't catch my breath.
~pulling a bandage off my skin...don't laugh, it hurts
~sliding off the seat and landing on the bar of a bike...OUCH, I thought I was going to die.
~doing something loud and embarrassing, usually in a public place and involving pain...like falling down the bleachers in JR high, or falling on my butt in front of Penn Station in NYC....but the tears are usually from laughing out of embarrassment. This one tends to happen to me a lot.
~getting dirt, sand, soap, an eye lash, or someone else's finger in my eye....that never feels good.
~poking myself in the hip with the pencil I'm holding in my hand, causing a small gray scar from where the tip punctured my skin. That takes a special kind of talent, people.

I'm sure there are more...but I'm tired and my eyes are watering so its time to go to bed. OHHHH ~being overly tired causes me to cry...add that to the list.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my Dad's 58th birthday...but he acts like he's 10 most of the time. Is swear that man is full of it....yes, FULL of it and you know what the "IT" is that I am refering to. He was telling me a story and its always a toss up with him. Sometimes his stories sound like something he made up and they tend to be true in those instances...then there are times that they could be plausable and that is usually when he's pulling your leg, but you have to be careful because he will switch it up on you. Basically, if you want to retell his stories, you have to add a disclaimer....I heard it from Allen....so everyone knows its a tight rope walk. Anyway, He starts out his story with this, "Jesse doesn't have any tennis shoes, we need to start a fund, pass the hat for him." OK....so I have to ask. "Why doesn't he have any tennis shoes?" To which Pop replies, "Well we went coon hunting on Saturday night without guns, we just took a fishing net." So then I have to ask, "Why the hell would you do that? Were you trying to get a coon so you could teach the new coon dog pup how to hunt them?" Yep, that was the deal. So, It turns out that they got a big boar raccoon. They were trying to get him into a dog box so they could take him home to the pup and let all the dogs loose on him at the same time. They were having some trouble getting him into the box, and Jesse was trying to get him in by taking a few little kicks without getting scratched or bit. I know, it sounds mean...and to me...it is. I like Raccoons. Anyway, that boar got loose, while Jesse was taking a kick and it took his shoe off his foot. The coon took off with the shoe and Jesse ran after it...the coon ran under the truck and Jesse ran into the corner of it, because as Dad pointed out, "Jesse was to tall to run under it." SHEEEESUS! At this point I'm rolling my eyes, asking myself how I could be related to these nuts and why I don't deny it. Then Dad tells me how they got two coons tree'd and they crawled into a hole in the tree. Jesse climbed the tree trying to figure out how to get them out of the hole. Dad told him to just reach in there and grab its tail and pull it out. Jesse said, " I can't do that, he'll fall right on me." To which I said, "Dad, did you tell him that that coon wasn't going to sit on his lap and take in the view." Dad said,"Those guys don't listen to what I have to say very often." I WONDER WHY!? lol. Finally Billy told Jesse to get down and he'd climb the tree and get them out because ofcourse, Billy is a stud. So, long story short, they went home without a coon and a shoe. Seriously, I don't know how much of that is true...but knowing those idiots, probably most of it.
Then Dad was telling me how he was thinking of collecting the dark red/purple maple leaves that blew into his hard from the neighbors across the street. ANOTHER JESSE...so this could seem confusing, but its not Cousin Jesse this time. Anyway, Dad was going to write the neighbors initials on the leaves and hand them back to him and say they must be his. Knowing Jesse, when he said they weren't, Dad was going to say, "Well, they have your initials on them." But Dad said he saw Jesse yesterday and yelled across the street to him that some of his leaves werein his yard...to which Jesse yelled back, "Yeah, I dropped those off for you earlier this morning." lol....they have way to much fun together. They are quite the pals these days. I'm not sure that is such a great idea. Dad is a bad influence....lol, I mean, seriously, look how I turned out. Mom swears she had nothing to do with it.

OMG, Jean is going to kill me....lol

I can't look at this picture without snorting with laughter. If Jean knew I posted this she would kill me.....so shhhhhh, don't tell her. Katie will laugh, she will laugh with pure evil in her voice. That is why I keep her around.


WE had to drop off some unused products that can't be put in the garabage because they are toxic to the enviorment. Twice a year the Town of Hempstead has a STOP day where you pull up, they take all your garden chemicals, unused paint supplies, misc crap off your hands and they dispose of it in the proper fashion. Well, we had the stuff in the back of the van and after sitting in line for over an hour the fumes must have been getting to us. We were getting a little silly. We had to keep the windows down so the smell wasn't over powering but as we got closer to the drop off site the odor outside the van was worse...or as Katie described it, "It smells like ass out there!" Indeed she was right.
As for the picture....It started off with Katie taking random shots of Jean and They were not very good pictures so Jean told her if she wanted bad pics she would give them to her. At some point I took the camera and got them both in prime form. This is kind of the way the Leaches look when you don't feed them what they like...lol. Its a good thing that they are not mean people....because they look quite scary sometimes.

Interesting..

Well, by the looks of this visual aid, I now know why Sam doesn't like going shopping with me. I do cover that much ground, but I don't spend that much money....though I probably come close at Christmas. Hey, I can't help it. I'm a looker...and I never buy clothes without trying them on. There is a system to my madness.

Another one goes down...

What a rotten night. I got very little sleep. I had gone to bed and was restless so I got up and decided to watch the episode of The Office that I had taped last night. It was midnight and suddenly Cliff was at the bottom of the stairs, looking terrible. He had come home from work and was working on the medication that he needed for his colonoscopy today. So basically he had no real food yesterday, just some jello and then he came home and took the pills, waited 3 hours and had been working on drinking the fluid mixture, 8 oz every 10-15 minutes. He had been having sever stomach cramps and ofcourse that stuff is supposed to clean you out, but he said in the past it never hurt this bad. He was in the tiny foyer bathroom, sitting on the toilet in pain and he passed out. His head went to the right side of the vanity in a small area between the wall and he kind of got stuck. I never heard a thing. When he came to he was crammed beside the vanity and had no idea where he was. He was had a terrible time getting out of there, his shirts were drenched in sweat and so he took them off and realized his head was bleeding when he managed to pull himself out enough to grab his sore head.
When I saw him I knew something was wrong. He was freaking out, hyper ventilating, shivering, shaky on his legs. I made him sit down on the stairs, while I got some ice for his swollen eyebrow and the the little bump on his forehead. His head was scratched by the little bump and so I cleaned that off and put some ointment on it, wrapped him in a blanket and sat on the stairs, holding one of the ice packs for him with one hand, rubbing his back with the other in an attempt to calm him down. The man was totally spooked. It was after 1 AM when he was finally in good enough shape to walk up the stairs and have his wits about him. This was a very bad time for Nancy to be away on business. Anyway, he thought he would be fine at this point but he decided that he wasn't taking anymore of that medicated drink.

I was so nervous about him going to sleep after banging his head but he said he was going to be OK. I didn't fall asleep for a long time after that. He slept in too which didn't help matters any. I was up at 6:20 AM, like normal to get Sam out the door by 7 AM and ofcourse the first thing Sam does is rat on his Dad for not drinking all of his bowel prep kit liquid. I had to tell him what had happened, but he didn't look to worried about it. Nancy called at 8:30 and I told her what had happened and she said she would call back at 9:30 before she went into court. I took a shower and when I got out, Cliff was in the kitchen. I dropped him off at the hospital at 10 AM for his procedure and then picked him up a little late at 12:25 because I couldn't get a parking spot in the 15 minute patient pick-up zone. I had to sign him out...which he was laughing about, saying "I have tried to get her to take responsibility for me for yearsssss, and this is what it takes! MAN!" Let me tell you, Cliff was in a jolly mood in the elevator while the nurse was walking him out. There were tons of nurses in the elevator with us and he turns to me and says...."Everyone was checking out my bumps and cuts, but don't worry, I didn't tell them that you were the one who knocked me around." To which I replied, "If you would learn to pick up you socks and put the toilet seat down it wouldn't happen." Then we both cracked up. They didn't seem to have the same sense of humor about it as we did. Hell, they probably thought it was true....who knows. Anyway, Cliff is upstairs sleeping again....all is peaceful in the world.

Boy goes BOOM in the night.

I was curled up in bed last night when I heard a really loud sound. It was somewhere between 1-1:30 AM. It startled me at first but then it was quiet so I figured something just slid or a picture fell. I wasn't so worried about it. Then this morning, Sam is telling me how he fell out of bed. I couldn't help it, I started laughing and told him I think I heard it. He was fine, didn't hit his nightstand or anything. he said he used to fall out of bed all the time and it has been a while since he has done it. I had to tell him about the time I fell out of bed when I was 4 or 5...I was dreaming that I fell off a cliff and I woke up just before I hit the ground in the dream, only to hit the floor for real. Then when I in second grade, I fell from the top bunk of our bunk beds and smacked my head on the rocking chair sitting next to the bed. That hurt like a...(insert naughty work here.) My Mom ran into my room to find me sitting on the floor rubbing my head. I remember how much that smarted. I think I knocked some smarts out of my head that night...ouchie.

The Anti Life list...by Netter

Everyone is making up Life lists. Sure they are a good idea, they are goals, there is nothing wrong with goals. I think it would be more fun to have an anti-Life list. I'm not talking a death wish...but a list of things you never want to do in your lifetime. Not to say that they won't happen, but they are things you don't want to do. So, here it goes, the beginning of my list:

I don't want to:

~stick my fingers or any other body part in moving fan blades
~cliff dive
~eat any type of rodent
~roller blade
~be strip searched
~have a cavity search preformed after a strip search
~smuggle any illegal supstances into the country, or any country...whether I know it or not.
~ shoot a living animal
~pass gas in an elevator
~shake GW's hand or be forced to have a conversation with him.
~break another bone
~put in contact lenses
~be in a plane when it crashes
~sing the national anthem at a sporting event...or sing anything in front of a crowd as far as that goes.
~commit fraud or anything like it...I can't do time in jail.
~become paralized from the neck down, become deaf or blind.
~go along with the crowd because it is the easy or cool thing to do.
~ever have to see or speak to three specific people again...ever. (I won't name them because it isn't nice...but I'm sure they know who they are)
~wet my pants while laughing in a public place.
~be on one of those weight loss shows. Have you seen the outfits they make those girls wear on The Biggest Loser? That is just wrong.
~give up crafts
~accidently inhale cream soda again, the first time was bad enough.
~stick the two prongs of a 9 volt battery to my tongue to see if there is any juice left in it.
~kill someone...you can't even tempt me
~go to a NASCAR race....EVER.
~push another car out of mud.
~eat anything that was profiled on Fear Factor
~own or wear a pair of shoes that velcro
~contract an STD
~fall on my butt in a public place...ever, ever, again. Twice in one year was enough for a lifetime
~eat liver
~go camping somewhere where I can't take a shower for a day or two....ewww.
~spray breath freshner in my eyes.
...and the list goes on and on....


Well, you get the idea. For everything that I want to do, there is a corresponding thing that I don't want to do. I'm not even writting down the really gross stuff tha tI don't want to do because I will make Raine gag when she reads it. I have a tendency to do that. Sooner or later I will get around to making a real "life list" but for now, the Anti-Life list will have to do.

What's this?!

Yes indeed, I am blogging again. Don't get to excited...we don't know how long this will last but today seemed like a good blogging day to me. I'm getting a little bit of my sass back and that can only mean one thing...TROUBLE! lol, but not for me...for everyone else.

I'm 80% normal

You are shockingly normal... and since normal doesn't really exist, that is kinda scary. In fact, you are scarier than the most abnormal person. Go you!

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

What a morning

So, Nancy had to fly to Chicago today for a few days....its a work thing and she had a car service set up to pick her up at 7:45AM. They are usually early but today it was 7:45 and nobody was here. she called and they told her he would be there in 3-5 minutes. Yeah right, 20 minutes later I told her to forget it and I would drive her to LaGuardia Airport. Now, I don't like driving in the morning rush but I had hoped that most of the traffic would be over by then. Yeah right. Everything was moving really well on the Southern State Parkway, the Cross Island was slowwwwww..but moving and the Grand Central sucked until we were almost there. The high point of the drive was when I had just switched lanes from the far right lane to the right hand middle lane. OMG. This big white commercial van came flying up my left hand side and suddenly decided he needed to be in my lane. Holy crap, he zoomed past me, speeding far more than I was...and I slightly over the limit at that point. I'm not sure what the hell he was doing. It's not like he had anyone in front of him in his lane, atleast close enough that he would have to dive into my lane like that. I actually yelled, "HOLY SHIT" and Nancy and I were both saying, "OMG, what the hell was he doing?!" I know when he started pulling past me, I saw his mirror and it was very close to me but it didn't touch my mirror so I wasn't really worried because I knew I was in the middle of my lane and I had a little wiggle room. Then he suddenly swerved toward me like he was switching lanes. I slammed on the break and moved as far to the right as I could without leaving my lane because there were cars to my right. He just kept moving over and he actually touched my mirror, tilting it forward, but luckily I had slammed on the breaks and he just cleared the front of my bumper because he was speeding like a mad man. Mind you, he had no blinker on. I mean, seriously, it was the dumbest thing I have seen in ages. He must have realized what had happened, because as I am putting my window down and popping my mirror back in place, he slowed down a little bit and waved at me like he was sorry....piss me off. OMG....Freak! He had North Carolina plates...so perhaps he didn't know the road and I do know that the lanes split for a bit into a 2x2 and then rejoin but if you don't know the road and you think you have an exit coming up, I could see why you would freak out and think you need to get in my lane. Yeah, well at this point I am just making up excised for him. Either way, there was nobody directly behind me so he could have slowed earlier and pulled in there.....but NOOOOO..he has to give me a heart attack. I just really don't get why he did that, unless the wind caught him and pushed him a little so he just went with it. It was kind of windy, but even then...sheesh!

Oh yeah, here is the funny part...remember how Nancys car service didn't show up, well on the way up our road, guess who we passed. Yep the guy in his Lincoln Town Car on the side of the road, with another car smooshed into him. It looks like the car service guy had pulled out into the side of a passing car. Very strange. Anyway, Nancy was on the phone with the car service telling them that she was going to miss her flight if she waited so she had a friend driving her.....as we pass the car service boo boo...and they are trying to tell her that she still has to pay for the pick up. So, she politely tells them that they will not be paid for services that were not rendered and that we just passed the driver who was in an accident. Needless to say, she doesn't have to pay for it.

Luckily, I hit zero traffic on the way home and I managed to get back in no time at all. I dropped off Cliffs prescriptions and made my phone calls for the day. Now I'm working on a post office run and a grocery list.

Time to redecorate the old fishbowl

I liked my butterflies but I grew tired of everything else on my site. So, I decided to switch my template to match my craft site design. I always liked it. This may not last long, but atleast my site loads faster. That is always good, isn't it.

I have not been in blogging mode, can you tell? I'm not sure what the deal is...but its not good. Anyway, there is nothing interesting going on around here. Sad but true. Plus I have not been in the mood to cut loose and tease anyone. So sad...but I am feeling a bit more perky. Good news for me...not so good news for those that I torture with my humor. Not to fear, Netter will be back soon.

How annoying

My site is so jacked up, it isn't even funny. It's not like I have made any changes to my template or anything. I think blogger is just on some major drugs this week. Man, this really sucks. Seriously! Has anyone else been having issues?

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?