Christmas in Nebraska

Christmas Day was a blast! I had a great time pestering people. Its a rare gift to be able to drive people nuts without them wanting to escape. Well, maybe they did want to escape...but they just never tried. I'd blog all about it but mom's computer is so much slower than mine that it drives me nuts just posting a short blog. I'll have to do all my real blogging when I get back on the third. I'll have to do all my blogging when I get back. I have a great picture of my Pops, holding Cindys present from Santa....lol. Its cute. i'm not feeling very good right now. I have a little bug so I am dragging. I took two naps today....blah, I just couldn't stay awake. OK, I have to run. There is a football game one and we are going to watch the rest of it. I hope everyone had a great holiday!

My Pop when he was a kid...

I never saw a picture of my father as a child. Well, not one that you could actually make out what he looked like. Great Aunt Ruth gave some pictures to Aunt Vickie and we found a few of Dad. Even back then he looked like he was a handful.

I'm keeping my eye on you!

Just because I am going to be gone and probably not updating my blog as often as I usually do, that doesn't mean that I won't pop in to see what you are doing on you sites. I miss you when I am away. I posted two links to some games below...just incase you need a break from all the crazy stuff going on.

Want a break from you relatives? Play Simon Swears...don't pick English if there are children in ear shot.

In case you need a break for the kids...

I'm heading home for the holidays.....

Yeppers, in 5 hours I am heading for the airport...and I am going to good old Nebraska. Just warning everyone at home that I will be stepping off the plane at 10:20 AM. Yep, and I'll be very busy driving my mother nuts for a week. Hey, its a tough job but my Pop can't handle it on his own...that job is to big for any one man. Plus I have to stay on Pops good side so I can get him to make some Popcorn Balls. Have a very Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. Don't do anything I wouldn't do for New Year's Eve....that kind of leaves a lot of options, doesn't it! LOL, oh yeah!

I'm not saying what I said...

Well, I was talking to one of Santa's little elves earlier today and I hate to say it but I bribed him and found out that I am indeed on Santa's "NICE" list AGAIN this year. So, everyone betting against it...you are out some cash. Sorry! Who knew that Santa had such a sick sense of humor, much like my own. Lucky for me!

In honor of the last Redneck Wednesday before Christmas...a little song I changed.

O Budweiser Tree

(to the tune of O Christmas Tree)

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

How are thy leaves so alcoholic

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

How are thy leaves so alcoholic

Not only in the summertime

But even in winter is thy prime

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

How are thy leaves so alcoholic
O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

Much pleasure doth thou bring me

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

Much pleasure doth thou bring me
For every year the Budweiser tree

Brings to us all both joy and pee

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

Much pleasure doth thou bring me
O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

Thy cans do shine out brightly

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

Thy cans do shine out brightly
Each bough doth hold its tiny can

That makes each drink to sparkle bright

O Budweiser tree, O Budweiser tree

Thy cans do shine out brightly

What the!

Who in their right mind would put up something like that at Christmas? Can you imagine the trauma it would cause the little ones! No, I'm not talking about Santa's Elves...the children....the poor innocent children that were headed to their Grandma and Grandpa's house for the holidays. You just know, one of them started crying and was freaked that one of Santa's reindeer had been shot by a hunter. MAN!

You can't make me....Oh, all right!

Oh my, look its the snowman village under the shelves in the basement. For the record, I really didn't want to put it out this year because its a pain in the bottom. Sam talked me into it.

Don't do that when I'm sick....

Ok, because everyone is always bugging me because I don't put pictures of me on her very often....SOMEONE took a picture when I was sick, didn't have my hair combed and had no make-up on. Now is that nice? No, it isn't. I'd get mad but that is exactly the thing I would do. Except when they have a headache like I had. That flash was a killer. Later Gators!

Holy, mangled, Christmas Cards Batman!

Hmmmm, I think Uncle Johns co-workers at the USPS are annoyed with him. They completely destoyed the Christmas card to me. It looks like a weed-wacker was let loose and desided to shread my mail. What you can't see from this picture is the extent of the damage. The envelope opens up completely...the card is torn clear through, the snowman ornament seems to have survived. I hope that was all that was in there. It looks like that gift card for, oh say, $200.00 was confiscated in route. Dang it, why couldn't they have destroyed someone elses mail. Oh well!

Why do I always get sick at Christmas?

I'm fighting off a virus of some sort. I'm just not feeling 100 %. I fell asleep on the sofa last night and woke up to some stupid Shark cartoon. I slept through the whole thing, I have no idea how I did that...the last 2 minutes sounded annoying.

Tag, You are it....now its your turn.

I ripped this off from Cousin Kippy. Your read it...now you are it, so copy and paste it, buddy.

10 years ago...I was a nanny for Katie and Chris....who are both in college now and I am feeling old. It's a good thing that I don't act my age or I would be quite depressed by now.

5 years ago...I was a nanny for Will and was just trying to get through that year so I could get the hell out of New Canaan. That was probably the worst year of my life. How I actually managed to stay a full year, I'll never know. I am proud that I made the best of a bad situation though.

5 Yummy Things.....Pops' popcorn balls, Vanilla Ice Cream with hot fudge, Mom's Chicken and Dumplings, Candied sweet potatoes, and fresh peaches.


5 Things I Know By Heart......How to finger weave, how to destroy a TV with a magnet, my cell phone number...hey it took months to remember it, my relatives middle names, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Toosie-Roll Pop...before I bite it.

5 Things I'd Do If I Had Lots Of Money......Build my dream house at home, go back to college...just for the fun of it, Take friends and travel the world, spend the spring and fall landscaping, plan elaborate practical jokes on people I know.

5 Places I Escape To....My blogs, my bed with a good book (get your minds our of the gutter), home sweet Nebraska, Museums, the beach

5 Things I'd Never Wear.....Bell Bottoms, bikini, fake flowers in my hair, a chasity belt, a crop top.

5 Fave TV Shows.....That 70's show, Greys Anatomy, House, Medium, The Office

5 Things I Enjoy Doing...Annoying people, traveling, hanging out with friends and family for no purpose in particular, doing crafts or creative projects, learning new things.

Camel Toads?!

Click on article to read. LOL, oh my, that Godmother was confused, wasn't she. Its crazy the stuff they actually post in the news papers these days, isn't it. Well, thank goodness the kid wasn't licking toads to get high.

Good times in the gutter

It's so strange, but everytime I turn around, my mind is taking me to a dirty place. I don't mean to do it, but if you say something innocently, I'll twist it into something filthy in a quick second or two. I've been like this for two weeks. I think it is hormonal and it will pass. Most of the time I'm not like this....really, its true. If I could blame it on any one person, I would, but I can't. Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! Excuse me for a minute, I have to figure out how to blame someone else for my current state of being. Back later.

Once upon a time, Pop was full of crap...and had lots of hair...

Yep, that is my Dad in 1984. Click on the pic to get a better look at the caption. This is a story about Cindy and how my Pops pulled the wool over her eyes. The first thing you have to know about Pop is that he likes to keep you guessing. One minute he is telling you the complete truth. The next minute he is feeding you crapola, hand over fist. In between that, its a lot of gray area. When we were kids, Pop...or Uncle Allen aka Uncle Peanut Butter (long story) would try to get you to believe just about anything. Between the boogieman, sharks in a fresh water lake, Uncle Jimmy being the shortest Uncle because he never got to the table before the other 7 kids ate all the food....stuff like that, you had to be on your toes to wade through his stories. He can be very convincing.

Anyway, this clipping is just another one of Pop's stories. Why would any fisherman give away the location of his favorite bass pond? He wouldn't unless he was an idiot and wanted that pond over fished in a week or two. What you need to know is that the City ponds were located at the Fairgrounds. They indeed had fish in them, but not large mouth that size. You should also be aware that he didn't catch those fish on a candy (gummy) worm, they would dissolve. Many people believe everything they read in the paper. How do we know that they believed that little story? The following day, you couldn't buy a gummy worm anywhere in town...FACT. Sure there were a few people that doubted his story. Great Uncle Orvil came up to Pop and said,"OK, what did you really catch those fish on?" He didn't fall for the candy worm story.

This brings us to Cousin Cindy, sweet, kind, Cindy. In 1984 she was 16 going on 17. Who would have thought that Cindy believed her Uncle Allen? Who would have thought she told lots of people this story over the years. Who would have imagined I would be sitting in her dorm room with her roommates as Cindy, in a state of excitement tells me to tell them that the story she has shared with them is true. The nerve of them! They didn't believe it. Who better to back her up than the mighty fisherman's oldest daughter. I was amazed and couldn't stop laughing. Poor, sweet gullible Cindy, yet another victim of Uncle Allen's tall tales.

Years later, Uncle Allen...became a Great Uncle to Cindy's daughter Dani. Yet another child to torture! He tried to convince Dani that there were dead people under the white landscaping rocks at the housing development where our Grandmother was living. He told her that you could hear them if you leaned over and listened carefully. So, there she is crouched down next to her Great Uncle. He said, "can you hear them?" She said, "No." He said, "Get a little closer and you will hear them." As she leaned in, putting her full attention to the "sound" beneath the rocks....he reaches his arm behind her , and yells as he touched her back. Dani, jumped up, and turned to run away so quickly that she ran right into a unused Bar BQ grill that was sitting there. Her head bounced off the metal and she spent quite a bit of time with an ice pack on the knot on her head. I think he felt pretty bad because he just wanted to scare her not injure her. Yeah, yeah, its all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

As a kid, I learned fairly quickly...when in doubt ask Mom if Pop was telling the truth. Unlike that husband of hers, she isn't a manure spreader.

Leave it to an old fart....

There is something about an old coot in bibby overalls. I'm particularly fond of the light blue striped version that my Grandpa Virgil and Great Uncle Ray wore. Grandma Martha and Great Aunt Blanche sure thought they were a couple of stud muffins in those overalls. They would all get together for their weekend card games and if you were sitting under the table, you couldn't tell Grandpa and Ray apart, except by the shoes. That was a good place to be, under the table. you could play with your dolls while everyone played crazy named games and listened to Ray get all worked up about anything and everything.

As far as clothing goes, Grandpa Clarence was more of a gray or blue Dickies utility outfit kind of guy and that was a good look for him, especially years later when he had to wear suspenders to keep his britches up. They made a good torture device . You had to sneak up on Grandpa and snap them fast and run like hell. I think that is why most of the Kaster kids were good sprinters, if you weren't you would probably get your just deserts. Oh hell, they always got you back later. They would snatch your plate on holidays after you waited in line and filled it up with all your favorite goodies. Old Clarence would sneak up on you while you were busy trying to figure out how you could carry the plate, silverware, napkin and maybe an extra roll on the side, without dumping it all on the floor. He'd swoop in, make you think he was helping you by carrying your plate...but he'd say "Thank you, just what I wanted.", and start strolling off with your food. Yeah, you would freak out and he'd give you your plate back...but it never failed to make him smile. If you were laying on the floor watching TV...barefooted as we usually were...He'd sneak up behind you, grab your big toe and slowly twist it, making you roll back and forth, back and forth. We would be in a fit of laughter. It didn't hurt unless you tried fight it and refuse rolling but even then it wasn't that bad. It's not like he wanted to hurt you, just pester you a little. It wouldn't be long and Grandma Evelyn would be yellin, "Clarence!", and off he would go but not before pretending not to hear her the first time, or the second...

Both my Grandfathers have passed on. I miss them. They were real characters. I'm sure I get some of my crazy behavior from them, the rest we blame on my Pops.

For Tami, per your request...

I picked it up for you. If you want it you have to come and get it though. I'm not sure it will stay fresh until I see you next friday night.

Not now Kid, can't you see I'm busy? Come back in 10 minutes and I will eat your stupid treats.

Ok, people, I finished the last of my Christmas shopping! How happy am I? I actually have to pick up a present for someone else and I am dreading it. Do you have any idea what the streets of New York City are like on the weekend before Christmas? It's not good people...not good. Anyone need me to pick up an item for them at the American Girls Store..speak now or forever hold your breath.

Wanna puke? No booze required!

This makes me sick. Stare at one of the dots inside one of the circles and if you are like me you will see the other circles slowly rotate. I can't do it long because it makes me want to hurl. It's funny because I usually don't have problems with this kind of stuff. I'm telling you ever since I went on the teacup ride three times in a row at SixFlaggs....I've had issues. NEVER AGAIN... once was fun, twice was pushing it, the third was a disaster. I learned my lesson though. If you are going to go on it that many times in a row, don't spin it as fast as you can.

Poor Mister Ginger...

...He doesn't realize that he is staring into the eyes of something so purely Evil. Run Kitty, run, before he starts thinking you are a pumpkin and breaks through the window in an attempt to savor your inners!

Extreme Rock, Paper, Scissor, Stone....Don't even try, you can't handle it!

Don't even kid yourself. You can't walk and chew gum at the same time, so how do you think you are going to be able to play this game? It's not going to happen in this lifetime. Forget about it. Yeah, yeah, its all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Either put your hands in your pockets or your finger back in your nose and walk away partner, walk away.

Hello Nova Scotia!

Ever since I started putting some slightly dirty comments on my site I have had a few Canadians checking my site everyday. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...and welcome. Leave some comments. Don't be a stranger. Anyway, I have found that Canadian men, or atleast the men I have been involved with in Nova Scotia are dirty, dirty, dirty minded. I am the type of person that appreciates that kind of thought process. Most of the time I am sweet, kind, old Netter...and then someone instigates a situation and BOOM, I'm scooping thoughts out of the gutter. I refuse to give out details (shhh...I'll email you later) but I have honestly been quite bad this year and I have big plans for next year too. However, if you can't wait for me to spill my guts about my naughty misadventures, click on the link on my side bar that is titled "censored for your protection"....you may enjoy it.

Hmmmm

Could it be...this picture actually looks simular to the picture of Katie and Justin below! Hmmmm, I think she has been watching too much nature TV.

oh yeah...I keep forgetting to tell EVERYONE...

I know Shannon loves it when I tell everyone her business, so here is the latest. She got ANOTHER speeding ticket...in Tecumseh this time and along with that she got a citation for not wearing her seat belt and for not having her drivers license with her when she was pulled over. If she keeps this up, she won't have to worry about getting tickets because she will lose her license on points and will have to hoof it everywhere. Girl, slow down!

Who wants to hear the story about Cindy and my Pop's story about gummy worms?

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

The Great Wringer debate....

Earlier this morning I was doing some laundry when I found my mind wandering...as it often does...and before long I was laughing to myself. True this could be a sign of insanity and with a family tree like mine, I was bound to be a little nutty. Seriously though, I was remembering a little family debate, a mysterious happening that I'll never really be able to prove or disprove. If you knew my family, you would completely understand that statement, no need to question it.
At this point you may be asking yourself, why does she have a picture of a wringer washing machine on this blog. Well that my friends, is the center of the great debate. Here is how it all got started. I was at Grandma Kaster's house. I'm not sure what led up to my Pop coming out with this statment but he said, "...like the time you got your Tit caught in the wringer." This simple little statement set off an interesting chain of events. My Grandmother went off...bells were ringing, whistles blowing, steam was coming out her ears, her arms were waving around in the air, her eyes were wide and wild, as she stammered and said, "No, no, no, my shirt got caught, not my tit." To which my Pop replied that she was not telling the truth and she knew it. After a while the subject was dropped but that is the kind of topic that sticks in your mind.
After Grandma's over reaction and obvious embarrassment, it made you wonder why she got so worked up so quickly. Hmmm, maybe Pop was telling the truth. It was always hard to tell with him, after all, he's a gifted bull shit artist. If you don't believe me...ask Cousin Cindy to tell you about the gummy worm/ master angler award story. Anyway, I asked Pop if it were true. Pop told me that she had been doing some laundry and running the clothes through the wringer when she got too close and it caught her shirt and pulled her right it to it, thus catching her Tit in the wringer. He swore that it was true and that I should ask my Uncle Jimmy about it because he was there to hear her yelling and had to help her get out of it. So, I asked Uncle Jim and he backed up the story. I still wasn't convinced. Why is that? Well I know my family... either Jim was telling the truth, or Jim knew a good story when he heard one and went along with it for fun, or my Pop had already gotten to him and had him going along with him. Hmmmm!
That is when I went to Grandma. I asked her if it was true. Her reply was this, "No, no, no, OH, that Allen! (Allen is my Pop and her 3rd oldest child out of 8 kids) It was my shirt, I caught my shirt!" This was followed by some grumbling under her breath and an aggravated look on her face. What I really needed was a creditable witness, a third party that could be trusted. Unfortunately this all happened way before my Mom was in the picture. When I don't believe Pop, I usually try to see what Mom says about a given subject. Mom isn't a bull slinger. For example, when Pop was telling me the story about my Brother-in-law buying 3, 450-500 pound live bears, I didn't believe him until Mom got on the phone and backed up the story. A lot of my Pop's stories are true, some are not, you just have to figure out which is which. That isn't such an easy task. My Pop was a wild thing in his younger years (more like insane), which explains why he is such a handful in his golden years.
Whether the story is true or not, I got a great little saying out of it. Whenever anyone is being careless or just not paying attention to what they are doing, I like to say, "Careful, Don't get your tit caught in a wringer." Yeah is vulgar, but it gets their attention.

I just typed a really funny story. I went to post it and suddenly it was gone. GONE, people, GONE! I can't recapture the genius of my psycho ramblings.......sigh. On top of that I just noticed that my countdown clock of the days Bush has left in office isn't working right now. Dang it!

For Cousin Cindy...Redneck Wend.

For the record, this is more of a country boy cartoon and not a redneck joke. The funny thing is that I have been known to break into my country roots by saying silly things like that. I've never used the Y'all or the Y'hear phrase unless I was joking around but I have come out with some colorful expressions that I still have know idea whether I made it up or heard it somewhere before. I actually said , "That's enough to choke a goat.", once and got a few good laughs just from the shock value. Don't ask me where I got it. I have Nooooo idea.

Oh, Man, that pisses me off...

I just noticed that my new icon lookes completely screwed up when it is posted by my profile on the right. Dang it! If you actually click on my profile page it shows up just fine...but on the comment links it looks like Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics. It's supposed to be this cute little kitty jumping at a butterfly, but NOOOOOO, its a big friggin' mess. So much for my good day!

It's a cruel, cruel world....

I'm a person of morning routines. I just have a sequence that I tend to do things in. Alarm goes off, I jump up right away and shut it off. I go to the bathroom, wash my hands, brush my teeth, wash any of the dried slobber that may or may not be stuck to my face off before I go up stairs. If it is a garbage or recycling day, I immediately go to the garage and haul out the trash, on the way in I grab the newspaper. If it isn't a trash day, I still run out and get the paper before I head into the kitchen.
Well, today it is 14 degrees out, I have no idea what the wind chill factor is but I went to the front door, ran outside in my Santa Ho ho ho jp's and tie dyed socks only to discover that the paper was not where it normally is. I even looked under the cars. I return to find Nancy sitting at the kitchen table playing card games on her lap top, she says,"If you are looking for the paper, its in here." To which I respond, "OH MAN, I went out there for nothing?!" I really wish she would have stopped me before I opened that door....yes, its a cruel, cruel world. If that is the worst thing that happens to me today, I think I can count this as a pretty good day. I hope you have a great day too.

Mommy! Katie and Justin are doing strange, kinky things AGAIN!!

LOL....this will make my Mom say, "Oh, for goodness sake Annette!"

I got a surprise package today!

This is kind of funny. I went to the post office today to mail several packages...one to a specific person, who shall remain nameless at this time. I got home to discover that that same person had sent me a package too. I swear, great minds think alike...as well as perverted minds, evil minds, thoughtful minds...the list goes on and on. I must say, that package really made my day. I'll be singing "Blue Christmas" the rest of the week, that is, when I'm not singing "Paradise by the Timex light"

For some reason, I'm suddenly in the Christmas spirit....

101 kinky uses for everyday items....

Thanks to Kip, I will never view a Timex indigo watch the same way again. I'll be singing "Paradise by the Timex light.....Ain't no doubt about it, they were doubly blessed...ect, ect..." in Sears, J.C.Penney, Target....I'm going to have to avoid the jewerly counter area.

All this talk has made me nervous!

It seems like every time I turn around someone is saying that I am naughty. I don't understand how anyone can say that about me! I polish my halo daily, why the shine is almost blinding. Isn't it possible to be naughty in the very best sense of the word? Good and naughty, nice and naughty, don't they go hand in hand? It kind of sounds kinky, doesn't it. Mwhahaha! It's not like I have hurt anyone, I've only made a few people blush. I've made a few people plot to get me back by pulling out the practical joke handbook...which, buy the way, I co-authored. I figure someone will put coal in my stocking AGAIN this year. You know, with the price of home heating fuels, its not such a bad stocking stuffer. Now that I think of it, maybe I should have been a little bit naughtier (or is it a bit more naughty- dang it- who cares, you get the idea). I can always sew up a huge...yeah, HUGE stocking and hope it gets filled to the top. I think it is too late to start the ball rolling this year but I can always shoot for next Christmas. Man, this is a good idea. I better start making a list of nice and naughty things to do in 2006. I think I will start the year off with a bang. Oh my....I think I have a few super ideas already.

Mwhahahaha!

I just got an email from my Mom....it is in reference to Pop's long john picture...click this link to refresh your memory.

"Just showed him, himself in the long johns. He wanted to know where you got that picture and when. I told him I didn't know but it was taken at the house. He says he needs to get your camera."

Ah! Life is good....lol. You know, I figure I can get away with posting pictures like that of my Pop. If I dared tried that with my Mom, she'd put an end to my life pronto.

What is wrong with this picture?

Jean found this piece of mail in her mailbox on Saturday. What's wrong with that? Well, since her name isn't Ana and she doesn't live in Australia...or anywhere near that country...its an odd thing to find in your mailbox. She was going to stick it back in the mail and let it go back on its way. I however, told her that she needs to write a letter to Ana in Australia and tell her what an interesting journey that card went on. The only things in the address that it has in common with Jean's address is the 33 and the word Ave. Quite a few people in the US postal service let that one slide past them. I'm going to have to ask Uncle John how long they have been hiring blind people to do the sorting. Oh, its a busy time of year, so I will cut them a break, plus I would like to recieve my mail eventually.

Christmas in Rockville Centre...

Well, today was the annual tree decorating party at Jim and Jean's house. I was part of the activities as well as Diane and Roberta. Chris is home from College so he entertained us with his wit and charm. We only broke one bulb. It took a nice dive onto the floor but you know what they say... It isn't a party until something is broken. It wasn't one of the very pretty bulbs or anything so in was no biggie. We had a yummy Chinese take-out dinner after the tree was trimmed. I ended up staying later because we had to watch Grey's Anatomy with Jean. I took a picture of the house from the outside as I was leaving.

Pop Star or Porn Star....this is harder than you'd think

Click on the link above to guess.

There is something in the water in Kansas!

Just when I think my family is the goofiest on earth... My cousin Cindy shares a picture like this and I realize that the other side of her family is way sillier than mine. This is a picture of two of her Uncles dressed to kill. Ok, I really think this is cute. I just can't believe they allowed someone to take their pictures outside. Notice the pearls and the single sock and shoe. I think I need a little background story for this picture. Oh Aunt Louise! You have to comment on this for me. We need details.

I now know where Cindy's brother Mike got it. I'll never forget this time at Grandma's when Mike was in the back bedroom with Tisha and Jeff. Cindy and I walked through the door and I'm not sure what sparked the comment but suddenly an annoyed Mike yelled, "Oh yeah Cindy, I supposed you told them that I wore dresses too!" To which Jeff, Tisha and I all replied, "WHAT!" with our eyes extremely wide and our jaws on the ground. Oh man, Mike spilled the beans on himself, Cindy hadn't shared that little gem with us. Oh that was a glorious event!. Mike was pissed and everyone else was enjoying the moment. LOL. In his defense, he wore a dress when he played house with Cindy, its not like he wore them everyday and he was very young when he did that. Uh huh, OK I'll buy that. After all, years later...we couldn't get him to put on my Mom's old prom dress. Nope, we had to talk Mikes friend Tom into it. We even have video tape of Tom sitting on the piano bench in the dress and a wig, while a shirtless Mike lip syncs to "She's like the Wind." I think we had promised not to show this tape to everyone else...but of course that promise was dumped rather quickly.

Oh yeah!

Shannon
wants
to
go
see
the
Strippers....Shannon wants to go see the Strippers....Santa's bringin' her nothin'....cause Shannon's a naughy girlie...Oh yeah, uh huh....! Cousins are so much fun to torture.

I'm telling you...they are evil, pure evil!

Squirrels steal xmas tree lights

Squirrels have raided a garden of Christmas decorations, stealing all the festive lights from a tree. The rampant rodents went nuts when they spotted the brightly coloured lights on an outdoor tree. They ignored the treats that had been left out for them and instead the mischievous mammals went straight for the bulbs decorating the holly bush.
It took the grey squirrels just two days to strip the tree of its 250 candle-shaped lights.
House owner Sally Kennett was shocked when she realised who was robbing the lights from her back garden in Purton, near Swindon.
"I watched in disbelief as I saw one of the squirrels run down the tree and across the garden with a bulb. "They never went anywhere near the nut feeders, they only seemed interested in the lights," said Sally.
The family have since found some of the lights buried in the garden, but loads are still missing. "Who knows what they've done with the rest of them? Maybe they've set up their own mobile disco," Sally added.