One of these Days....the deer will get smart and when that happens...Uncle John and Aunt Vickie are going to be in sooooooooo much trouble. Everyone has heard about their latest boo-boo. I told Jeff he shouldn't pour that much deer lure on that bumper. Nobody listens to me. 

OK EINSTEIN!

Who is the brainiac that voted on my class picture challenge but didn't leave their name? How do you expect to get a prize if you were right? You better leave another comment and this time fill in your name. JEZ! I don't read minds, you know. Was it you Vic?

Boater safety lecture

Ok, so I was a mean, mean, nanny today. Sam was going to take Eric and Adrian out for a boat ride. I was untying the boat but I wouldn't let go of the rope until Eric had his life vest buckled. Sam got snippy with me and said that it didn't really matter. I set his little ass straight by informing him that if he had an accident and someone got knocked out and was thrown from the boat. A life vest wouldn't do much good if it wasn't buckled. I said as soon as someone gets on that boat, he is responsible for their safety.
They left and a few minutes later I see the boys flying across the bay in the channel and Sam is standing up behind the wheel. Now, its not a high sided boat. If they hit drift wood they could be thrown off balance and he could end up overboard. I have told him many many times that he was not allowed to stand and drive that boat. I pulled out my cell phone, called him. I make him take his cell phone when he goes out so I can keep a tab on him. He didn't pick up on the first call, so I left a message, and then I called back a couple of minutes later....that is when I chewed him out. I told him I have no problem telling his Dad he has been jacking around and he will not be allowed to go out with out an adult anymore, whether he is the only one with a license or not...it doesn't matter. Safety is first. He wasn't very happy. I also told him that the next time he gets mouthy with me over life vests or anything that deals with safety...I WILL pull the key to the boat and he will not be going anywhere. He knows I don't bluff.
Wait until the next time he wants to go out. He doesn't know that I WILL be going with him until he earns back my trust on that boat. It's going to be a while.

Allergies and movies

I slept most of the morning thanks to some wonderful allergy medicine. It really packed a punch. After a day of leisure and almost finishing a book...but not the book clubs selection...I decided it was time to hit the movies. I needed to see the newest installment to the Star Wars series. It was OK. I guess I wanted more from old George. I must say I did enjoy it more than the last two movies. The most exciting thing that happened was when the two guys across the isle from me got in to a little fight. Something about leaning back in the seat. The guy behind pushed the seat forward and so they had words. After that the guy in front moved over.....then he there were more words. Then the guy in front got up, walked up two rows, went over the seats so that he was behind the guy that pushed him forward. I guess he pushed the guy back and then there were more words past. I was so annoyed. Some lady told them to stop acting like assholes and to take it outside if they couldn't keep it down. I swear!

I'm taking Raine's advice....

It is 2:22 AM and I have the urge to blog. Thanks to Raine, I know this is not a good idea. I'm very tired and I tend to sound more like a lunatic than I usually do when I am not tired. I'm off to slumberland....catching some Zzzz's with the Sandman, well, not with him, but because of him. Enjoy all the lovely pictures. I could have added more, but i was trying to show some control. It's not an easy thing for me to do. You know that!

Ok, just to be fair....its me in Kindergarden. Jez, I had a huge forehead. I remember that picture being taken. No comments about me still not having the boobs to fillout a top like that....yes Tisha, I know you want to write that.

Once upon a time, many, many years ago...a little cousin named Shannon climbed up on her big Cousin Tishas' lap. Tisha didn't remember this picture...so here is proof. They should hang it up at Subway.  

How many Kaster men did it take to attach a license plate? Grandpa and Dad had to call for back-up so the answer is 6 men and one female to document it.

Yes, it is exciting to wear your Moon boots in the summer. What a fashion statement Jeremy and Shannon made. I think we should blow this picture up and wave it at her graduation next year. Who's in with me? 

Have you seen this Woman? She may be harmless, but be cautious if you come into contact with her. She has been known to be sneaky. Suspect goes by the name of Aunt Vickie. 

This is what happens to you when you are on our team and fall asleep during a Cousins Only holiday game fest. Yep, the proof still exsists. We put bows, blue toothpaste and shaving cream on Jesse....then we dripped dill pickle juice in his mouth....MAN, was he a heavy sleeper!

Ho hum...

It's one of those holiday weekends that I usually look forward to. I usually have plans through Monday night. Not this year. I decided to take it easy, so I have. It's a good thing I hung around the house. My allergies are kicking my butt. My head is stuffy, my nose is vacillating between stuffed and drippy, my eyes are watery and itchy. I fell better when I take some medicine and sleep but then I am out of it most of the day. I guess I would rather suffer a little bit than nap the day away, especially when it is so lovely outside.

I really should go read my book club selection for June. I just picked it up yesterday after the store called me to let me know that it was finally in and that they were holding it for me. My problem is that I have two books going already and I bought 4 other books that I would rather read then Wideacre. Blah! I'll read anything they pick and I have, but the book club has kind of fizzled out. I think we just need a really exciting book selection to get us back in the spirit of things, maybe do an outing that relates back to the selection somehow.

I should go finish my tie blankets....but I don't wanna. Not right now. I want to make those curtains for the foyer bathroom but its not far enough along for curtains. I still have to paint the color on ,but I want to hit it with another layer of primer first. That just isn't going to happen today. Nope. I'm going to goof around today. I'm going to do absolutely nothing special. I'm going to look at all those beads and still not make a single bracelet. I'm going ot crawl under the covers and read The perks of being a wallflower because it is a no-brainier and I want to pass it on to Katie. She will think it is entertaining. I know her dirty little mind. (MAE, Katie...I love yah, kiddo!) I'm going to go drink some water because I have had 3 diet Pepsi's today and one is enough for anyone....three is ridiculous. I'm going to watch part two of Empire State at 9:00 PM and when that is over I am going to snuggle up with my book again. Maybe I will blog later tonight if the mood strikes me. Man, I'm just a rebel....to wild for my own good.

how true....

I was watching a movie a little bit ago and the bar owner said, "There are only two kinds of drunks, those that are sorry and those that soon will be." I couldn't argue with that more.

Captain Sam, gave us a ride in the old boat. We were headed to the Nautical Mile in Freeport. It was a lovely morning and early afternoon today. It sprinkled later on but it was warm and glorious while the sunshine lasted. Hopefully it will be this nice tomorrow.

Forever Friends. LOL, I think this picture is a roit. Sam made friends with Jacko. How funny is it that they both are looking at the camera with their "paws" on each other.  

Ah ha! Picture day in Platte SD....second grade. Where am I in this picture? *Mom, you are not allowed to answer that, you'll give it away.* Guess correctly and I will send you a special prize. State your answer by the row, from front to back, then by the # of kids from your left. I'll email you to let you know if your guess was correct.

40 questions...

1. My uncle once: threw a walnut at me and accidentally hit me in the neck. It hurt like a mofo.

2. Never in my life: would I stick my finger between the prongs of an electrical cord and try to plug it in.....never ever again.

3. When I was five: I spent many hours bugging the neighbor lady...but I am sure she loved every minute of it.

4. High School was: a complete joke. Enough said.

5. I will never forget: the day my Uncle died.

6. I once met: Grandpa Munster

7. There's this girl I know: that has a very big grey cat that I want to keep for my very own.

8. Once, at a bar: a guy decided to bite me.

9. By noon I'm usually: checking the caller ID to avoid tele marketers.

10. Last night: I watched Carrie win on American Idol.

11. If I only had: super powers, I would have some real fun...lol.

12. Next time I go to church: hell may freeze over, or I'll be struck by lightening.

13. Terry Schiavo: is better off where she is now.

14. What worries me most: that the people that voted for G.W. Bush twice are allowed to roam around free.

15. When I turn my head left, I see: a wall that I need to paint soon.

16. When I turn my head right, I see: my arts and craft table.

17. You know I'm lying when: oh hell, everyone knows when I am lying.

18. What I miss most about the eighties: how much fun I could have doing very little at all.

19. If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: a lady in waiting

20. By this time next year: I'll be another year older if I'm lucky

21. A better name for me would be: I don't know, I've gotten use to the name I have.

22. I have a hard time understanding: why anyone would buy bears

23. If I ever go back to school I'll: write those stupid term papers and not complain about it once.

24. You know I like you if: I'd give you the shirt off my back.

25. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: My Mother, because she has had to put up with a lot in the last 35 years.

26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: would make an interesting dinner party.

27. Take my advice: Act goofy while you can, life goes fast.

28. My ideal breakfast is: Bread pudding french toast and bacon, lots and lots of bacon.

29. A song I love, but do not have is: Papermoon

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you not blink. You could miss something.

31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are things you can make idle chit chat about.

32. Why won't people: just get along.

33. If you spend the night at my house: I'll make you waffles in the morning.

34. I'd stop my wedding for: a natural disaster

35. The world could do without: cocky assholes

36. I'd rather lick the butt of a Tiger: a poisonous frog.

37. My favorite blonde is: Goldilocks

38. Paper clips are more useful than: a group of men with fishing or hunting on the brain.

39. If I do anything well, it's: anything artsy fartsy

40. And by the way: I didn't write these questions...I just answered them.

A mean thing to do to a friend......

Below is an email I got from Tami today:

Had a sonogram today. The baby is about 1 pound and right on schedule.



It's . . . . . .












a . . . . . . .











Sorry - couldn't tell. Too bad.
John's kind of annoyed but the baby is currently breech and the tech said it's next to impossible to tell on those anyway. HAHA.

Carrie Underwood....

is the new American Idol! I'm so happy! I have been voting for her all season. I really liked Bo too but there is something about Carrie's voice that I like a little bit more.

It's that time of year again. There is nothing like a little baseball in the spring to get you excited about the summer to come. Derek and Sam were waiting for the prior game to get over so they could take the feild. I bought METS tickets for when the Roofus and Skeeter come to visit in July. I actually waited to long to get tickets and didn't get the seats I wanted but they will do. It's better than nothing. It's on a day when kids under 12 get to run the bases after the game, weather premitting. Should be fun. I'll be buying some sunflower seeds tomorrow. They are an important key to sitting though a little league game....especially when you have to listen to crabby parents. In their defense, the coach is the stupidest man on earth, next to the "Bear Buyer." 

Tisha....

I am not going to wash and wax your Explorer the next time I visit....it will be December. Burrrrr! Just wanted to state that for the record.

Shannon the Speed Freak...

It seems as though our little Shannon has a lead foot. She got caught going 83-84 mph and has to pay a $164.oo fine. I am sure at those speeds it won't be long before she has an accident. I think everyone should call her and give her a little lecture...we know she loves that. Just to mix things up a bit, you can also send her a card. I think I will make up a fake ticket and send it to her. Hmmmmmm.....whatelse could I do to annoy her? Any ideas?

Dewey and the Three Bears...

The continuing saga of a blonde and his three bears....

Ok, the Bears are named Starsky, Hutch, and Einus. Dewey took them back to Kansas but the guy is going to keep them until Dewey gets a suitable structure build. Tisha is pissed. She is ready to start taking orders for Bear meat. You have to shoot it, and dress it yourself. Pathetic....and the sad part is Tisha has not been feeling well. She has been having these black out spells and been getting dizzy a lot, so she is going to the Doctor to have some tests done. I don't think all this Bear stress is helping her any. I added Tisha's friend Laura "Rora" as a link on my Craft site. You can find that link on the side bar. She makes ponchos, purses, and hats. She is keeping busy, but she has three children under the age of three. Isabella, 3...Victoria, 2 and Josephine, 10 months old. She's insane.

Do not fall for this scam....this man never went to Medical school.

update to over slept...

I had gone to bed early because I hadn't felt good. Sam knew this so when I overslept this morning he said he wanted to let me sleep because he knew I didn't feel good and thought I could use the extra sleep. AH, so sweet. He said it wasn't a big deal because we carpool with Darcie sometimes anyway. True, so true. Still that was really nice of him...heart attack and all.

Sam didn't end up going to the game because his Dad said they had decided not to go because the weather was nasty, wet and cold. It turned out the sun came out and Cliff ended up going but Sam had already gone to birthday party at his friends house. He was pissed when he got home. He had a crappy time at the party and would have rather gone to the game.

I overslept.

What a way to start the day. I was dreaming this really crazy dream when the phone rang this morning. I talked to Sherry for a minute and headed to the bathroom. When I got out, I could hear the TV upstairs, I glanced at the clock and freaked. It was 9:30. Sam, was late for school, or so I thought. I'm tearing though the house looking for him when I find a note that he rode to school with Darci. We sometimes carpool with her. My alarm never even went off but I usually wake up anyway. Jesus, that really freaked me out. Knowing Sam, he didn't even bother to knock on my door, but just called and carpooled. He knew I didn't feel great last night. I actually started taping ER so I could go to bed early. I don't know if it is allergies or just the fact that I was sanding drywall mud yesterday....but I still don't feel great. Ofcourse the heart attack I suffered as I looked at the clock, did not help me feel any better.

I have to take Sam into the City to the office tonight. Sam's Dad is taking him the Shea for the Met's vs Yankees game. They have great seats, right behind home plate.....should be nice for $450 a ticket. Anyone that knows Cliff, knows that he didn't have to pay for the tickets.....he buys Payless Sneakers for their value......so there is now way he would spend that much on a game that wasn't for the playoffs or the World Series.

Once again, I stress

...that I am not responsible for the actions of my relatives. I couldn't make this shit up! Serioulsy! My BROTHER-IN-LAW....went to Kansas with his Dad. While they were there, Dewey spent $900.00 on some animals...which my Sister did not know he was going to purchase. They pulled into the driveway with a horse trailer. Inside the horse trailer were three animals. What animals do you think they were? Any ideas?
Dewey had purchased 3...yes 3 black bears....declawed, each weighing 400-500 lbs. EACH....not total....EACH. Now, anyone that knows Dewey, knows that he can't keep his horses inside their fences, let alone three friggin bears. He thought he would build a nice little cage of some sort out of the vinyl fencing that he had laying around. After the bears got a little frisky and knocked out some of the fencing....Tisha told him that he WAS going to return those bears to Kansas....but not in such a nice manner. You know my Tisha when she is pissed off. So, I'm going to call her tomorrow and find out if he got his money back. I mean the legal issues over having those bears alone......crazy. You would have to have an exotic animal license, a shit load of liability insurance if they got loose and hurt someone or their livestock. More to come on this subject.

Here's a funny story about this picture. I found it when I was web surfing and knew my Father would get a kick out of it. I sent a copy to Mom and she passed it along to Dad. He had Mom write: Trained coon dogs for sale by Zach Kaster. (phone#) adk for Deanna. He then say Jesse in front of Vern Ray's house. Everyone was there for Brie's graduation. Dad told Jesse he found the flier out at the bowling alley and sent him off to show it to Zach. Dad went home and then the phone started ringing. Lonnie got ahold of it and had to call Dad. I heard Deanna wasn't so happy about it,. perhaps because she thought that was plastered around town. Which it wasn't. I think any coon hunter would get a kick out of this photo....and we all know that My Pops, Zach and Lonnie are coon hunters.

What a day...

I cleaned the Mazda out today. The thing was a mess but it is pretty clean now. It will last a whole two days before it looks like a dirt bomb hit it. Oh well. What are you going to do! I'm still not tired. I guess I just didn't need to get 8 hours sleep last nigh. Let's see, what else did I do? I put some more grass seed down. I will have grass growing on the side of the house again if it kills me. Atleast this year the construction guys won't trample it to death, like last summer. I'm glad the weather is so warm. I went barefoot most of the day and I wore shorts. Yippee! It was so nice to shed that second skin, well, part of it anyway. It's not like I went nude. I wouldn't do that to the poor neighbors.

I can't sleep.

Yep, and I am one annoyed lady right now. I slept for about a half hour and then had a really nasty dream that woke me from my slumber. I tossed and turned in bed but couldn't get back to sleep. I think I just woke up wired and its going to take a while for me to relax. I guess I will go look for suggestions for our next book club meeting. That shoudl put me to sleep. Good morning, by the way.

If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times...."You won't fit behind the sofas."

This one is for Raine and Chris: I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this. You know that noise you hear at night? This is Herbie and he is going to try to get out of that crawl space in the ceiling and into your Apt. He's been talking to Twit throught the walls and he has a small package to give Twit. Yes, Herbie is a kitty crack dealer. What a rat.

Don't you just love my new mobile home. It came fully loaded. You won't believe the price I paid for it either...I'll have it paid for in about 15 years. If you want to borrow it sometime, just ask. The only thing I ask is that you return it with a full tank of gas.

Look, its two of my favorite things. A butterfly and Lilacs. Oh, how I love the smell of Lilacs. It reminds me of my birthday because they are always blooming in the first couple of weeks of May. Just thought I would share that with you.

Who says that Nebraska isn't exciting....

Norfolk, Nebraska-

So, exactly how do you stop a charging deer in a Wal-Mart? You take away its credit card.

Shoppers at the Wal-Mart here wish they could have thought of that. It would have been a whole lot easier.

A deer without a grocery list entered through the doors of the supermarket part of the store Thursday.

The store's greeter didn't see the deer enter through the exit, but she did see the critter when it hit the slick floor and fell. It quickly recovered and went scurrying down the aisles.

After doing a little looking around, the deer was tackled by a customer. Others of the human persuasion then tied the deer's legs so it couldn't kick, placed it in a shipping cart and pushed it outside.

Officials took the animal to nearby Ta-ha-zouka Park and released it.


***That is even more exciting than the time one of Hartman's llamas got loose and ended up down at the manor where the old people formed a circle around it and then Mrs. Rathe from across the street grabbed it by the neck. Ah, good times!***

More strange events in the night.....

Ok, so once again I had a strange thing happen to me last night, actually early this morning. At 3AM I jumped out of bed and I was pacing in a nervous, freaked out manner. I kept saying, "I can't believe this is happening!" I said it alteast 5, maybe 6 times before I stopped in my tracks and said, "What?....What is happening?" At which point I started to laugh, calmed down, and climbed back into bed. All I can say is that I must have been having one hell of a dream. My heart was racing and I was very freaked out about what ever had been happening.

I had a scary dream over the weekend where something mean was chasing me and I was trying to get away from it. The funny part is that in part of it, I felt like I was at the dentists office but then I realized it couldn't be, the floors were wood and not covered with carpet in the waiting area. So, when I went to my appointment on Monday, I open the door and I am sitting there waiting for about 2 minutes when I suddenly noticed that the carpet is gone and they have brand new wooden floors in the office and waiting area. FREAKY! I actually asked the girl behind the desk if I was losing my mind, and whether there was carpet last week. She confirmed that I wasn't going nuts...indeed they had the floors put in on Friday and Saturday. ( insert music from The Twighlight Zone for maximum effect. )

Wheat Pennies....where the real luck resides.

I found a penny...

....and I picked it up, but didn't get any good luck... What the Hell!

I was outside the local Home Depo, and I saw a penny on the ground. Thinking "Hmmmm, well, it can't hurt" I picked the penny up, in the hope that all day long it would bring me good luck... except that it never showed up. Is that really fair?
OK, so maybe pennies and luck have a life of 2 "finds"...maybe when they say "then all day" they really mean "until it just stops working" and maybe the whole idea of a random penny someone dropped giving you good luck is just bull shit quite frankly. But I don't think so. I'm still a believer. I guess it's just "find the right pennies, pick 'em up, and THEN all day long you'll have good luck". I think its like winning the lottery or something. I bet that little jingle is so old that it referred to wheat pennies and it doesn't work on the newer ones.

Come to think of it, why isn't it "find a nickel"? Or "find a half-dollar"? I guess there's something about pennies that are so simple -- valued at one cent, the lowest possible value of money that brings good luck. Or maybe it's just a way to get people to pick up pennies. Seriously, people tend to drop pennies all the time...and I guess if you don't pick them up, they would be everywhere. Right?

There must be other rules to this whole process that they didn't put in the little jingle, perhaps due to the length of the song once they were all listed. People wouldn't bother with it if it became to complicate. Granted, I do follow the "heads" up rule. You know, "Don't pick it up if its 'tails' up" because that is bad luck. Yes, BAD luck, like free money could ever be bad luck. I don't remember who it was but years ago someone use to say you should never leave a penny on the ground. It could be that particular penny that keeps you from being a millionaire. I don't think I have to worry about that but its an interesting theory.

I always pause before picking up pennies off the ground. I debate whether it is worth it. You see, when I was a kid, one of the Smith boys use to drop change down the front of their pants, rub it around, and then toss it on the sidewalk and in the parking lot. I was completely grossed out by this. Unfortunately, I always think of Rusty when I see coins on the ground and it takes me back to the good old 70's. What an interesting way to become embedded in someone's memory, huh. So, beware people, because who the hell knows if an adult Rusty is up to his old tricks.

Speedy Delivery........

Mmmmmm, fries......gooooood. Katie and her pearls are never parted...they are her own special fashion statement when paired with a T-shirt. She's so cute, naughty, but cute. lol. 

All set up....Katie had to work the Rec Center tennis courts from 1:30 to 7:00PM. She forgot she hadn't eaten. Netter to the rescue. I brought the bug spray and a lovely Wendy's #8 - chicken tenders, fries with ranch dipping sauce and a coke.  

A forward that I enjoyed.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank
while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for
diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored
lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't
had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers
and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new
ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we
learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATION!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives
for our own good.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors,doesn't it?!
I used to do that...and got yelled at all the time for it.

Ok, I thought this was funny. The picture is what really cracked me up. Not to mention the fact that he actually took a picture of it...lol. Kids! Zaydie is his grandfather... just for the record. 

Zaydies wild hair....see postcard above 

How Evil am I?

How evil are you?

Do I have to be nice?

Ok, so here is my issue. I forward an email to someone that I am not friends with anymore. I only did it because I couldn't remember her old bosses address or email address. I had a email about greyhound dogs that needed homes and I know they loved their rescued greyhound before it passed away. Anyway, I forwarded it and got a little personal "how are you" email back. Shit. Then she told me Happy Birthday on someone else's blog. Shit. Now, I have been sitting here trying to decide if it is in my best interest to respond. Part of me wants to and the other half thinks I've lost my friggin mind. I don't' hater her. I don't want to be chummy with her. I just don't want to be mean either. I have never been very good at tact. That is part of my problem. Does someone want to write a "not overly friendly" letter for me? Short and sweet would be nice. Thanks!

Yo Twit, Man, why are you getting all freaked over Nett visiting those nasty cats at Dave's. Let me tell you something about Nett. Dude, she loves you and Tooches. You are all she takes about and she even has pictures of you in her room. I roam the neighborhood and Nett is always leaving treats for me. I think she would try to tame me if I let her, but Man, I'm way to wild to be tied down to one person. All I can tell you is that you guys are all I hear about. Twit this,Tooches that. It's friggin' annoying. Listen, a word of advice. Lay off the Kitty Crack. Do you want to end up like me?

At the Chocolate Tasting party last night. (l to r) Raine, Me, and Christopher. I think this is a great picture. Who likes my new coat? I had this guy come up to me on West 82nd Street and tell me how much he loved my coat. He said it was really cool. I thought that was funny.

What I did on my birthday....

I opened lots of presents.....I visited lots of friends....I spilled lots of food all over myself....I ate some South American Chocolate and even won a bar to take home. In short I had a great day.

I have never been a huge fan of dark chocolate. That is a well known fact, but after tasting some of the finer chocolates last night, I can say that I now appreciate it.

Some interesting facts. 87% of the worlds chocolate production is done with the Forasero bean. It tends to be waxy, and if you have ever had Hersheys chocolate, you know what I mean. This bean is used because it has the highest yield per hectare and is the cheapest by the tom of the the three species of beans.

10% of the world population os Cacao is called Trinirario. It is a hybrid of Forastero and Criollo beans. It was created after WWII in the hopes of producing a tree and pods that were more robust but carried the same Criollo taste in the seed. Most of these plants are grown in the Caribbean.

Less that 5% of the worlds production is Criollo. It is by far the most expensive and fragile bean on the market and is now cultivated mostly in Venezuela, where it still represents one ton out of 6ooo produced. This plant is very delicate and is grown only in shade and polenated by gnats.

Here are the chocolates that we tasted and the % of Cacao that they contained.

Cluizel Baking chocolate 99% It was a chance to try chocolate with out sugar. It had a touch of orange peel and was very bitter.

Valhorona Guanaja 70% A blend of criollo and trinitaria from the island of Guanaja, off the coast of Honduras. Smooth but not complex.

Amedei Venezuela 70% A blend of Trinitarios and maybe Criollos from Venezuela. High- temperature conchinig leads to a strong caramel flavor that over powers the other more subtle aromas. I didn't taste or smell the caramel at all.

Amedei La Tavoletta 70% Bean source unknown. Its a very dark roast and not for everyday eating.

El Rey Apamate 73.5% They specialize in the famed Carnero Superior trinitatio bean from the Barlovento region west of Caracas. This is an exceptionally smooth and balanced chocolate, the sweetest 73% bar because it has not intrinsic bitterness from the bean.

Amedei chuao 70% From the famed isolated peninsula north of Caracas, this subspecies of Crillo is said by some to be the best in the world. Fruity and silky.

Amedei Porcelana 70% A creilli subspecies from north central Venezuela, Porcelana is the most expensive bean in the world. Nutty and fruity, delicate yet lasts a long time on the tongue. In our Host, Dave's opinion, the finest chocolate in the world.

Where to: learn more about chocolate.


Also: Where to buy

Dave was a good host, very funny and friendly. We met some nice people. I have to say that it wasn't what Raine thought it was going to be but I think it was very interesting and fun. I'm not sure I was in the right mood to chat with a bunch of strangers, I always need a heads up when I have to be socialable with strangers but I really did enjoy the group that I chatted with. I was very chilly so I didn't take off my coat and when I got home I realized how glad I was that I didn't. At dinner I had sent a lobster tail flying and ended up with far more spots on my shirt that I could have imagined. I think I may have splattered poor Christophers new shirt too. I felt so bad about that. I washed mine and it came out so I hope that it comes out of Christophers too. If not, I will have to buy him another shirt. Overall, it was a great night. I'm so glad that Raine found out about this little get together. It was a new experience, very interesting and I almost forgot to mention Dave's cats. They were pretty but frankly they were lacking many of the qualities that Tooch and Twit have. Oh...we had to take of out shoes because Dave is a bit of a neat freak, not because we had to play twister. I'm not even going to bother explaining why a guy said to me, "Oh and you are Wet?" lol, jez.... lets just say that i scratched the face paint that had my shortened name across my cheek. It took me a second to realize that the guy was just being friendly and not filthy. I thought he was another one of those freaks that I tend to meet. LOL.

Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE, Happy birthday to me. Yep its 1:42AM on May 7th and that means its my Birthday! Hand over the presents.