How to attract hot firemen to your home.

Perhaps, this should be titled, how NOT to attract hot firemen to your home. Well, We had three pillar candles burning in the fireplace, like we have done for years. Suddenly the wax caught on fire and the whole fireplace was in flames. Of course the vent wasn't open because it has never opened (we never have a real fire going for that very reason...just a few harmless candles....haha) and the glass doors on the front of the fireplace suddenly didn't want to open up without the whole thing coming off and its not such an easy task to try to open them with oven mitts on because the metal is now searing hot. So, the house started to fill with smoke and we opened the window because we were afraid the fire alarm would go off. I mean the fire WAS contained it was just so damn hot, I was nervous and called the fire dept to get their suggestions. I explained the story and the guy said, "Oh, well, I'll just send a guy over to take a look." Fine, but a few minutes later we had a hell of a lot more than one or two guys at our door. At one point I think there were eight fire department SUV's and ofcourse they had to bring the big rig. They had the whole street blocked of and for a second I thought there was a parade going on outside. Seriously, you would think the whole friggin house was in flames. The funny part, is by this point the wax fire had burnt out. Well, I think the guys were bored or something because they proceeded to make a friggin mess on the off white carpet upstairs. I don't blame them, they were just checking to make sure that the fire didn't escape the fireplace. I mean, you could still feel the heat coming of the bricks. So the guys ripped off the glass and metal doors, then they"fixed" the flue so it opens and by "fix" I mean they tore that sucker friggin off and squirted some flame retardant up there. I tried to tell them that the embers that dropped were from the hammer the chimney guys dropped in there last fall when they put in a new liner on the other chimney. Do you know what a can of flame retardant does when it drips down, mixes with black soot from the fire and drips out onto the off white carpet? It creates a holy friggin mess. They put a ladder up to the roof, took off the roof cap and looked down it to make sure everything was fine. but they did this as they pulled the entire flue down and all the broken brick from the old liner came crashing down into the liquid stuff that was all over. Don't get me wrong, it was the right thing to do....I just wasn't looking forward to the clean up. I still have more to do tomorrow.
The guys sure were nice and several were very HOT...but in a good way. They got to use all of their fun equipment, like the camera that reads the heat in walls and such. They were running all over the house. Yes, hot men, all over the house, chatting it up with me... however, it wasn't worth the mess. There has to be a better way to meet men.

Don't worry, We are laughing about this now. Earlier, it wasn't so funny.