Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my Dad's 58th birthday...but he acts like he's 10 most of the time. Is swear that man is full of it....yes, FULL of it and you know what the "IT" is that I am refering to. He was telling me a story and its always a toss up with him. Sometimes his stories sound like something he made up and they tend to be true in those instances...then there are times that they could be plausable and that is usually when he's pulling your leg, but you have to be careful because he will switch it up on you. Basically, if you want to retell his stories, you have to add a disclaimer....I heard it from Allen....so everyone knows its a tight rope walk. Anyway, He starts out his story with this, "Jesse doesn't have any tennis shoes, we need to start a fund, pass the hat for him." OK....so I have to ask. "Why doesn't he have any tennis shoes?" To which Pop replies, "Well we went coon hunting on Saturday night without guns, we just took a fishing net." So then I have to ask, "Why the hell would you do that? Were you trying to get a coon so you could teach the new coon dog pup how to hunt them?" Yep, that was the deal. So, It turns out that they got a big boar raccoon. They were trying to get him into a dog box so they could take him home to the pup and let all the dogs loose on him at the same time. They were having some trouble getting him into the box, and Jesse was trying to get him in by taking a few little kicks without getting scratched or bit. I know, it sounds mean...and to me...it is. I like Raccoons. Anyway, that boar got loose, while Jesse was taking a kick and it took his shoe off his foot. The coon took off with the shoe and Jesse ran after it...the coon ran under the truck and Jesse ran into the corner of it, because as Dad pointed out, "Jesse was to tall to run under it." SHEEEESUS! At this point I'm rolling my eyes, asking myself how I could be related to these nuts and why I don't deny it. Then Dad tells me how they got two coons tree'd and they crawled into a hole in the tree. Jesse climbed the tree trying to figure out how to get them out of the hole. Dad told him to just reach in there and grab its tail and pull it out. Jesse said, " I can't do that, he'll fall right on me." To which I said, "Dad, did you tell him that that coon wasn't going to sit on his lap and take in the view." Dad said,"Those guys don't listen to what I have to say very often." I WONDER WHY!? lol. Finally Billy told Jesse to get down and he'd climb the tree and get them out because ofcourse, Billy is a stud. So, long story short, they went home without a coon and a shoe. Seriously, I don't know how much of that is true...but knowing those idiots, probably most of it.
Then Dad was telling me how he was thinking of collecting the dark red/purple maple leaves that blew into his hard from the neighbors across the street. ANOTHER JESSE...so this could seem confusing, but its not Cousin Jesse this time. Anyway, Dad was going to write the neighbors initials on the leaves and hand them back to him and say they must be his. Knowing Jesse, when he said they weren't, Dad was going to say, "Well, they have your initials on them." But Dad said he saw Jesse yesterday and yelled across the street to him that some of his leaves werein his yard...to which Jesse yelled back, "Yeah, I dropped those off for you earlier this morning." lol....they have way to much fun together. They are quite the pals these days. I'm not sure that is such a great idea. Dad is a bad influence....lol, I mean, seriously, look how I turned out. Mom swears she had nothing to do with it.