Friday, September 01, 2006

I think I'm sea-sick...

Tropical Depression ERNESTO has really done it this time! I'm just glad we are not in its direct path or anything...I'd probably have to puke. We always wait until the last minute to do things that really should have been done right away. For example: Cliff decided that the sail boat and the canoe should be moved off of our dock and placed in their fall/winter positions. It's only because Ernesto has sent some wind and waves our way and the canoe was almost off the dock. We've lost them before in storms. So, what does this mean? It means, Sam and I have to move the stuff and in Cliffs perfect world, he wouldn't have to help. Ah Ha, but you see.... this is not Cliffs perfect world. Yep, that is why I said, "WE will help YOU move them." Sneaky, huh!

Luckily it was high tide and they were much easier to carry but the dock was really rocking. REALLY, REALLY ROCKING! I noticed that the front lead rope on the boat was fraying. One of the lines had snapped and with the way the boat was bouncing I told Sam that we needed to change it. Luckily I had bought a new tie the last time I was at the Marine store. I had to hold the bouncing boat while Sam tried to untie the part hooked to the boat. We never untie that part, just throw it onto the deck when we pull out. Finally, I had to have him go get something to cut it with and I had to hook a temporary tie to the boat so Sam could hold the boat while I cut the old rope in the waves and attached the new one. It was way to dangerous for him to do it. I'm telling you, it was NOT fun. I was bouncing all over the place and I finally had to make Sam sit in the boat and put his foot against the side so he could pull the rope and keep us from flopping around so much. After I attached the new lead, we tied her up...but the boat was banging against the dock with each wave. So we had to remove the center float and tie it up higher. I had to sit on the dock with my feet braced against the top of the boat so Sam could pull the float out and put it in the right spot. OMG...it had to be a funny, though slightly scary sight. The boat and the waves were pushing me backwards on the dock and because I was covered in the spray and wet to the core, my pants were sticking in one spot while my butt is slowly being pushed out of my pants. Seriously, those waves against the boat has a LOT of force. I'm yelling to at Sam to hurry, while he's laughing...because at this point about 4 inches of my silky panties are hanging out for the world to see...and when silky white underwear get wet...its see through. So, I'm just imagining the neighbors watching this wonderful display of tom-foolery. Sam is laughing so hard he can hardly tie the lead and I'm telling him to back up for a minute so I can pull my ass back into my capri jeans before I get a splinter. Oh yes...and I could feel the wind lifting the back of my shirt up, yep, and the spray was soaking me. Once the lead was tied, I could not stand up to pull my pants up....I had to do it laying down because I was afraid if I stood up that they would fall off me. I'm sure I looked like a clown. Dear Lord, why does this stuff happen to me?! Oh it gets better. Sam crawls back in the boat and I am hooking another float onto the side of the dock so the boat won't hit the wood when it bounces high on the waves and all of a sudden I look down and see the $180.00 I had shoved in my pocket (it was for school supply shopping) half sticking to the water on the dock and the other half rolling in the wind, an inch from the edge of the dock. I yelled,"OMG..the money!" Sam looks and gasps as I scramble for the cash, while trying to avoid the boat smashing my fingers when it bounces back against the spot where I am trying to put the float. I got it in time....whew....because, I would wave cried if I had lost even $20 bucks in the bay. I guess when my pants were being pushed off my butt, the money that was in the bottom of my pocket, worked its way upward. I looked at Sam and we both cracked up. We were a mess. Both of us were covered in salty spray and both of our eyes were as big as saucers. That is when I said, "Did you notice how quickly your Dad disappeared?" Which made us laugh even louder. "Then Sam said, "I thought you were going to jump in after that money." Believe me...I really thought about it for a spit second...then I figured, it could have been hazard pay for being out on that dock in those waves, exposing my rump crack to the world. I'm sure I could have been arrested if the bay constables had boated by.
When we went in the house, Cliff was laughing at us because we were soaked...not a single inch of us was dry and it wasn't even raining out. He didn't say anything about seeing my butt...but he did say he saw me almost fall head first into the boat when I was tugging on the lead an a huge gust of wind hit just as a huge wave hit us. I know exactly which time he was referring to...I thought I was going in too. Standing in the kitchen, Sam and I both felt like we were still on a boat....we were waving back and forth. I swear, another 10 minutes on that floating dock and I would have puked. It took about 20 minutes for us to lose that feeling. So, that my friends, is why Ernesto is no friend of mine.

1 comment:

Netter said...

Oh yeah, but the weather is much worse today. the new lead actually broke and we had to use one of those orange heavy duty utility electrical cords...but its holding.