Me too. 

...the old man is snoring...

It's a total down pour this morning. I stood in the garage, concidering how badly I wanted the morning paper. In the end, not bad enough to get completely soaked, so it sits on the sidwalk, all wrapped in its plastic bags, waiting for me to scoop it up and bring it in to a nice dry home. On days like this I just want to curl up and bed and read between naps. I'm not going to today though. I have a lot of stuff that I want to get done before 3 PM. My book is calling my name though.
Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire.
I had read Wicked and kind of enjoyed it, atleast enough to purchase the next installment. I'm just starting to get into it and as a result I ended up staying up a lot later than I had wanted to last night. I think I will go read for a half hour then its time to get some stuff done around here.

Katie's latest poem

"To My Little Piggies"


I used to call you my little piggies.
Some of you had roast beef,
some of you had none.

But now
some of you have barbaric blisters
because I wear shoes
one size
too
small.

And now
I go out to parties,
sometimes with flip-flops on,
and you get stepped on
and writhe in the beer-flooded floor
to the beat of the repetitive rap music.

I used to feel sorry for you
when I walked on the gravel
when we were back at home.
But now the homemade calluses
pine for those penetrating pebbles,
and in secret
you are crying
wee wee wee
all the way home.

I can't think of a scarier image to put on a jack-o-lantern...G.W.....yeah, that works for me. I may not sleep tonight. I have been working on my halloween projects. I am ready to attach my signs to my signpost. I think I should coat it with some poly first though...just to protect the granite finish. I'll post a pic when I am done with it. I also need to work on my headstones. I needed some things to write on them and I have found my list from last year. I'm too picky I guess. I just need to slop it together. Fun, fun.

The weather here has sucked. Its been cool and rainy. I can handle the cool because I love autumn but this rain is getting to me. Gloomy, gloomy, gloomy, blah! I need my sunshine. I know, I have to be patient. Grrrrrr! Gotta go...I have some stuff to do before Sam gets home. I just wanted to blog something because it had been a while. I'm just not in the mood...maybe I will be tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Uncle John!
I wanted to post a picture of an old stripper doing the bump in a thong, but it wouldn't load correctly. Plus, Aunt Vickie would have killed me for posting that picture of her on here.

It's 3 AM

I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep but I have been out cold since 9:30ish. I'm happy to report that my headache is just barely there...and I can function like this. Yesterday was terrible and I was nauseous from all the thumping. I have survived...yipee! I have not had a lot to blog about lately. I just have not been in the mood since the other day. Well, atleast not a fun mood...more of a serious mood and that really sucks. Life is too short to be serious all the time in your bloggings. I like to kick back and have fun, maybe rant and rave every once and a while but on the whole, I just want to be goofy. After all, I am a big goofball at heart. Hey, its genetic, I can't help it.

You will be happy to know that I have started painting my tombstones...atleast the base colors. They look like grey stone. Now I have to paint on some epitaths....got any funny or clever sayings for me? Ohe is going to be a special dedication to my Uncle Randy because he love Halloween too. The rest of the stones I want to be silly. I thought I would make one read, "Ill A. Wheeze" and under it say..."I told you I was sick." Then I thought something stupid like Here lies poor old Bart, died when he forced a fart." Got any ideas? I figure Lucas alone will have a few dozen for me. I know I had a list of ideas last year but I can't find it now. I think I must have another Halloween sack hanging out in the attic. I'll look tomorrow. I have started decorating the basement. I posted a pic for you. It's dark so you can't see it really well, but that is the idea, isn't it.

My basement display this year....and this is just the base of the stairs....you should see my plans for the rest of the space. I just realized you can't see my bats. They are hanging too high I guess. Oh well. 

I have a massive headache today and if I am being honest,

I probably deserve it 'cause I have caused more than a few in my day.

It's not easy being a pain in the ass when you have a pain in your head.

No comments about me being a butt head....

They are forbidden right now....wait until I feel better and can battle.

Twinkle, Twinkle...

I saw a shooting star tonight. I was standing on the dock, talking on my cell phone to someone in a far away land, where the cover of night had not fallen. I had been looking at the water, there were small fish jumping in the still bay, making ripples. You could hear them, it was that quiet. I suddenly felt the need to look up to the sky, dark and cloudless as it was. I saw it instantly, if I had hesitated, I would have missed it. I didn't though, I saw it and it took my breath away. It was bright, almost blue in tint and it quickly burnt out, or disappeared from my view. In that quick second, that blink of the eye, I saw it. I wonder who else had. Did it make them smile too? Were they as happy as I was in that moment, that fleeting moment of peace.

Comes the Dawn by Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth

And you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.....

FYI....

In America, the day with the most birthdays is October 5th. Did you know that? Me either, but I heard it on a news show today. Interesting huh. I guess 9 months prior a lot of people were getting lucky. That puts us at the week leading up to Valentine's Day. (insert porn music here) Isn't that right?

Oh Hickman! Yoohoo!

I know that someone from Hickman, Nebraska is reading my site quite a bit. Now the question is.....are you reading it because you found it by accident and like it or did you follow a link from one of my friends pages? I'm from Nebraska originally, you know, so I am very interested in solving this mystery. Now anyone that knows me, knows that I am a problem solver....so email me and let me know what the story is.

Netter

SON OF A!!!! AUGH!

All right, all right! I know winter is coming, I know you have been working hard storing nuts before the snow comes, but do you have to eat the faces off of our jack-o-lanterns, you furry little bastard! Do you have any idea how long it took me to carve that cat face in that pumpkin, huh, do you? A long friggin' time. I left you a bowl full of nuts but you took those home and snacked on my pumpkins. Yeah, that is right, I saw your fat ass sitting inside my pumpkin loading your little cheeks up. I left an apple and an orange for you...but nooooooo, you go for the carved pumpkin. So, maybe you are craving pumpkin, you only get it once a year, I know that. You couldn't try the uncarved pumpkin in the front, no that wouldn't do for you. Too much work, huh? Listen up Fat Boy, and listen good, if you touch my jack-o-lanterns this Halloween, you will be part of my haunted display. You can enjoy the pumpkin all you want...AFTER HALLOWEEN...touch them before and we are going to rumble. Got that!?

Do you remember? Yeah, I do..

Cindy wrote this cute little blog titled, "Do you Remember?" I laughed my butt off. When I was reminded of her Uncles terrible behavior, I laughed and wished I could have been the person I am now, back then. I would have given them hell. I was just way too nice back then. Anyway, here is what I remember...

• *Sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa Kaster's with all the older cousins. We would stay up laughing and talking and Grandma would yell at us to go to sleep.
• *Going to Grandma's and watching Willie Wonka on HBO with Mike like a million times that summer.
• *When Tisha was little and dropped a can of Dr Pepper in Grandma Kasters kitchen, then handing her the can to open for her. The soda hit the ceiling...it was crazy.
• *Holding cousin Jeff down and putting make-up on him
• *The cousins eating jars of dill pickles at Grandma and Grandpa..and sometimes following it up with Ice Cream.
• *Grandma's laundry pile being about as bad as Cousin Cindy's is now...the difference was that Grandma had 6 people living in the house at that time...Cindy has two...lol.
• *My Pop trying to start a new lawn mower...refusing to believe me that you had to hold a lever down to start it...even though it was written on a label on the handle bar...he swore it was a faulty mower.
• *Christmas when Grandma had to yell at the Uncles because they were playing with their nieces and nephews toys and wouldn't give us our turn.
• *The shaving cream fight I sort of accidentally started in Grandma's kitchen. How do things snowball so fast at our family get togethers?
• *Trying to sit under the table while the adults played cards on holidays
• *Grandpa tricking me into helping him dig potatoes
• *Raiding grandma's Strawberry batch
• *Grandpa putting red fingernail polish onthe claws of Grandma's white cat one Halloween...he also put red lipstick around its mouth like it had real lips....Grandma wasn't happy....I thought it was great.
• *Cousins yelling, "OH NO, Allen is coming!" Then watching them try to hide. My Pop used to pick on everyone. I just said, You don't have to live with him...ignore him, he goes away.
• *Our Uncles...Especially my Pop, holding you so couldn't move at all, then refusing to let you go until you said the magic phrase. "Uncle Peanut Butter, please let me go." You had to say it in a nice calm, sweet manner and could not be struggling when you said it, otherwise they would make you say it over and over again until you said it in a nice manner. This is the reason my Father is called "Uncle Peanut Butter" instead of Uncle Allen. Cousin Jeremy started that and everyone started to follow suit. Kelsie now calls my Mother "Aunt Jelly." They go together.
• *Uncle Jim's 4th of July party where My Pop and our Uncles built a homemade cannon using M-80's a steel pipe and a piece of a small tree that they cut down and formed into a BIG bullet. You know, when they shot that sucker off...straight up in the air...it when so high you couldn't see it. Mom had made us go in the house...but seriously, those guys were like big kids.
• *Our Uncles lighting off fire works and throwing pop bottle rockets. One went nutty and hit my Mother in the arm, burning her. Talk about pissed off. The guys high tailed it out of there fast. She still doesn't trust those idiots with fireworks.
• *When a tiny firecracker when off in Mikes hand and he ran in the house yelling, "I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed!" then hid behind the recliner.
• *When Billy was really little and stripped naked in Grandma's little baby pool in the front yard.
• *Grandpa and Uncle Jim putting a "Honk if you are horny" bumper sticker on Aunt Vickies car. They laughed their butts off as she pulled out of the driveway and headed home. I got blamed for it...and they knew I would, I think that was why they were laughing so hard.
• *Grandma sending us to Parrish's grocery for stuff and then letting us pick out candy as a reward. We went there a lot.
• *Visiting Grandpa at Campbell Soup when he worked on a Sunday and we brought him his dinner. They would tease us and lock the freezer door after we entered during our little tour of the plant. We were not in there very long but it sure freaked me out. Especially when Dad was carrying me and I was in shorts with no shoes on.
• *being tickled until you were sure you would die or pee your pants.
• *Dad and Uncle Randy remodeling our bathroom. Dad pulled the sink off the wall without shutting the water off first because, being a plumber, he knew you should be able to do that. There should have been a little give in the pipes. I guess they didn't want to spend the extra money for an extra inch of give....the water was shooting straight up hitting the ceiling and Dad yelled for Randy to cover up the pipes while he shut off the water. There was dry wall piled on the basement door...and Randy couldn't hold his hands over those pipes long. The hot water got a little too hot...lol, Man, the race was on that day. lol
• *I helped Tisha climb a tree and then refused to help her down. I had to take a picture of her crying up in that tree first. I think I have that picture somewhere...man that was mean.
• *We went fishing a lot...I mean A LOT...we'd sucker our Uncles or Dad into baiting the hooks for us. Once at the river, the adults set us up with a good spot and they disappeared up the river for a while. Mike caught a catfish that swallowed his hook and we couldn't get it out. Mike took a rock and started chopping up that catfish to get his hook out so he could keep fishing. It was so gross...and I remember being shocked that he had the nerve to do that.
• *I seem to remember Mike doing a lot of funny stuff. He was always our comedy relief, I guess. I still love watching him lipsync "She's like the Wind" shirtless, to Tom, his pal who was wearing my Mothers old prom dress at the time. It was a holiday and we had promised not to show everyone the footage we shot. That lasted a whole half hour. lol
• *I once told my little sister that her boobs were going to curve under her arms and that she would have to walk with her arms sticking out to her sides.....she started to cry and asked Mom if it was true. I got in a little trouble...but I also told her she was adopted....aw, good times.
• *Sliding down the stairs on your butt.....it was a lot of fun until you started to go to fast or picked up a splinter.
• *The now famous SPOONS card game that got a little out of hand. At one point one of the spoons went flying to the floor and people were diving for it....it was wrestle mania....and that was the end of the fun, the Aunts and Grandma put an end to that fast.
• *County Fairs and Randy winning me stuffed animals. He was a great Uncle.
• **My Pop actually read directions once! I heard him talking about how he wanted to hurry and read the instructions to installing an air conditioner before I woke up from the little nap I was taking on the sofa...too late, I heard the whole conversation.
• **My Mom's truely Polish moment with the porch door....ah, it brings tears to my eyes, just the sheer memory of that moment...lol.
• **Skeeter putting a soaking wet, cold, wash cloth in my sneaker and running out the door, laughing. I knew that girl was up to something, she usually is.
• **Dad scaring Danielle ( his great neice, yeah, he has started on a new generation) so badly that she bolted and ran head first into a propane grill.
• **Playing hide and seek with the cousins...whenever Jesse hid Shannon, we could never find her. Once she was curled up in Uncle Garys suitcase that was laying on the floor.
• **When Uncle Randy won the trip to Disney and brought me back a Mickey Mouse pillow.
• **When Mom was at work and there was an ice storm so school was cancelled...Grandma made Grandpa pick us up and bring up to their house. Right after he turned on to their street off of Clay street, the car which was barley moning did a 360 degree spin. It was so funny.
• **Raking Great Grandpa Lade's yard and afterward being stuffed with cookies and soda pop. He smoked his pipe while we discussed the last episode of the Dukes of Hazard...his favorite TV show.
• ** More to come...check back again.

Notice to all revenge seekers!

Please be aware that I have been clued in on a plan to doctor pictures on Print/Photo Shop. If you have noticed...I have not doctored any funny pictures of friends and relatives on my site. If by chance someone gets cocky and tries to use a doctored photo of me or of my photo suppliers....war will be declared and I will go to town with PHOTO SHOP...oh it will be nasty and it will be funny....to everyone but you. Consider yourself warned! Yeah, you know who you are. So play fair....because if you don't, neither will I. You don't want me getting my hands dirty.....believe me, you don't. Mwahahahaha!

I believe that according to Emerson....I have succeeded! Now what?  

Just do it! ( Not a NIKE commercial)

Happy Birthday Jim Leach! (and)
Happy Birthday Amy Christen!

I thought I would throw in another surnise picture before I forget I have it. It reminds me of modern art. Fig anyone?

I heard something new...

Latest news from Nebraska....A certain speed demon....yeah, I found out...got a $250.00 speeding ticket in Lincoln thanks to a construction zone. I have connections in the LPD, Jez, and they saw that last name....hmmmm, could they be related? UH, yeah! Naughty, naughty.

The last weekend Mandi tried to jump on Billy's back and caught him of guard. He fell on his face, skinned his face up and ended up with two puffy eyes. I heard they ended up as shiners...but that isn't positive. Then the klutz tripped while going to feed the dogs and he landed on his face again. Maybe the klutz gene is a Kaster trait after all.

Dad finished the dirt work around the house and put down new grass seed. He was watering the lawn earlier but had to take a shower to go to Zach's football game. Mom said she is staying home becuase she jinxes him and he loses ever game she attends.

Hmmmm, yeah, that is all I know right now. Maybe something interesting will happen next week.

I think you should catch a sunrise atleast once and a while...so I did today. Now its your turn. 

The count down to Halloween has begun...and you know what that means. 

No, really....

Maybe, just maybe, I want to:

• -wear socks that don't match my clothes
• -chip off all my fingernail polish
• -chew off all of the nails that it took me weeks to grow
• -to chew on the end of a ink pen and have it break, spilling blue in into my mouth, dying my lips
• -talk dirty to a Canadian
• -throw out my brush because I dropped it in the toilet
• -wear shorts even though its to chilly out
• -keep all the earrings I only have one left of, because I am sure I will find the other one after I toss its mate in the trash
• -forget that I have mascara on and rub my eyes so I look like a raccoon
• -wash all my clothes in one load and not separate my whites and colors
• -chew on ice....and risk cracking a tooth
• -shut my hand in the door
• -over bake my cake....so you won't eat it.
• -glue my fingers together with rubber cement
• -drop my expensive perfume in the sink and shatter the bottle
• -lick my lips when the wind chill is sub zero
• -get dressed in the dark and try putting my bra on inside out
• -sit on my glasses
• -sing really loud and off key
• -talk and talk and talk and talk
• -post goofy pictures of you on my site
• -tell everyone that someone got a $250 speeding ticket in Lincoln while in a construction zone....yeah, I have my sources in the LPD
• -toilet paper your house while you are at dinner
• -return the case to Blockbuster but not the DVD because I looove making a second trip back there
• -paint faces on the bottom of rocks and then place them back where I found them
• -give people presents...because I CAN and for no special reason
• -listen to peoples conversations on the train
• -chat with people while I am in line
• -play practical jokes on people
• -lick food off of sharp knives
• -put mushrooms in my grilled cheese sandwiches
• -be a fly on the wall...just once
• -scream at you..."Dumb ass, I know the truth!"
• -jump on a plane so I can hug you right now
• -have a selective memory
• -paint my Fathers big toe nail with black car enamal paint while he is sleeping again...and this time not get caught.
• -make up one of my famous silly songs while my mother is driving
• -whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
• -keep this list going but I am tired and it will have to wait for another day.

lol..Bottom row, middle.

You know I love postcards...I know you do, I've been known to post them on my site. So, why on earth don't you send me some more so I can post them on here. They don't have to be from exotic ports or anything like that. Send me a postcard from Tecumseh, Beatrice, Arlington, Summerfield, Des Moines, Gresham, San Gabriel, or Lincoln...ANYWHERE! Oh, don't even try to play it off like you guys never travel. Some of you do....don't try to hide it from me. I am the all knowing Netter, for goodness sake! Oh, before I forget, try to be witty on that postcard...if you can't do that, fake it. You should have my address...if not, email me, I'll send it. This is your homework people and you will be graded on participation.

Ok, I think this says to save paper...lol, don't ask me how I come upon these crazy images all the time. DON"T ASK...you people never listen, jesh! I just saw that crazy lady with her leg in the air...and the dryer pointed in that direction and I had to laugh. Now you know, if they charged you per sheet at public toilets, you would see some frugal old ladies attempting this position....to the delight of their dirty old husbands.