OMG...tell me I didn't just hear that! and What's the Magic word?"

I'm hanging in my bedroom, relaxing reading a book, minding my own business when I hear Skippy yelling to her little sister:

"Sparky! Sparky, wipe me!" (Skippy is in the bathroom, apparently stuck on the toilet, but why she won't wipe herself is beyond me...that's a new one.)
No response from Sparky
"Sparky! Sparkyyyyy!
A quiet little annoyed voice says, after a drawn out sighhhh..."What do you want Skippy?"
Skippy yells, "Come wipe me, I said! Right now, you naughty girl!"
No response.
Sparky! Sparky!
No response but if I listen carefully I can barely make out the sound of Sparky having a conversation with her Build a Bear, who is currently in a bikini and sunglasses.
Skippy then yells, "Sparky, if you don't come wipe me right now, I won't be your friend.
Skippy then replies in the softest voice, " Skippy I don't want to wipe you. You do it. I'll still be your friend."
Which leads to an aggravated growling noise coming from the bathroom. I'm assuming she gave up and wiped herself because about 4 minutes later Skippy was outside my door trying to figure out how to get me to come out.
"Netter, come out!"
Me: "Is the house on fire?"
Skippy: No.
ME: "Sorry I can't come out.
Skippy in a whine: "Why not?"
Me: I'm busy. Where is Mommy?
Skippy: "Downstairs. Come out!"
Me: I can't I'm not dressed.
Skippy: Yes, you are.
ME: How do you know?
Skippy: I can see you through this hole under the doorknob."
ME: "Hey, get your eyeballs away from my key hole! Don't be a Peeping Sparky for goodness sake!
Skippy: Why?
ME: It's creepy.
Giggling outside the door, joined by Sparkys laughter, who then asks, "What's funny Skippy."
Skippy explains and there is more laughing followed by "Let me see!'
Sparky then says in a whisper, "I see her. I think she is reading her book." Then a louder, "Netter! Hey Netter! Can you open the door please?"
Me: No, I can not open the door.
Sparky: "Why not, Netter? Do you have a boo-boo?
I try to ignore them so they will get bored and go away.
Skippy: "No Sparky, she doesn't have a boo-boo."
Sparky: "How do you know?"
Skippy: "I just know, she doesn't."
Sparky: "But maybe she does. NETTER, Hey NETTER, does your new boo-boo hurt?"
Skippy: "I said she doesn't have a boo-boo, you naughty girl! You never listen."
ME: "Skippy, stop calling your sister a naughty girl all the time."
Sparky: "Yeah!"
Skippy: "Naughty girl!"
ME and Skippy: "HEY!"
Skippy erupts in evil laughter.
Skippy: "Let us in."
ME: "Only if you say the magic word first.
Skippy: "Please?"
ME: "wrong word."
Skippy: May?
Me: nope
Sparky: "Abracadabra?"
ME: wrong magic word. (Little do they know, whatever word they come up with will not be the magic word.)
At this point, their Mom gets off the phone and finds them leaning against my door. She chases them away and gives them the "Leave Annette alone," speech..."its her day to do whatever she wants to do in peace."

Right now, I can hear them in their bedroom brainstorming magic words.

I think I'm falling into a cupcake coma...

Oh hell, who am I kidding...I'm just making excuses so I don't have fix all the useless crap on my site that needs to be fixed. I need to fix my 40th birthday ticker on my side bar, because its counting up to my 40th b-day again, when it sould be counting down to my 41st. I need to add all the books I've read so far this year and the movies I've watched but pfffftttt.....I don't wanna. I'm just being a lazy post birthday girl. At least I'm taking the time to post something. That's a plus, huh. Don't get used to it.

I've been thinking about how I'm going to celebrate my 40th with the gals from High School in August. We are going to get a room at a hotel and regress a bit...no husbands, no kids, just us girls. I was trying to think of retarded things that we could do for fun. I figure we could bar hop and pretend we are a traveling bachelorette party...but that was quickly nixed because I realized they would make me be the bride. Although, technically The Foe could be the bride because she's not married anymore. Hmmm...I'm going to talk with Tami about this.

Oh, while I'm thinking of it, I can't figure out why people make such a big deal out of turning 40. Sure I'm a day closer to my grave, sure the gray hair will start popping out, sure I'll soon have more age spots than freckles...but so what. Fact of the matter is, I feel young, even when my joints are cracking. I'm always going to be that old lady that gets out the water balloons and nails the neighbor kids or talks them into pranking one of the other neighbors. I can't help myself...its genetic.

OK, I have to go avoid doing something useful and productive. Later!

Im lucky to be alive!

The 4 year old put me in a headlock last night when I was putting her to bed. She kept chanting, "BIG HUG, BIG HUG." then would kiss the side of my head 5 or 6 times before chanting "BIG HUG, BIG HUG!" again. It was a vicious cycle.This went on for a while. When I got out of her death grip, she giggled and I asked, "What was that about?!" She giggled more and said, It's your Birthday in the morning Netter! You need to sleep next to me so I can wake up and tell you Happy Birthday!"
You have to love Sparky...even when she cutting off your blood supply, she's doing it out of love.

This morning she came downstairs, put her hands on her hips and in an annoyed tone said, "Netter, why are you up? I have to make a cake for you." Yeah, like she could use the stove on her own, or that she had enough time before school started in the first place. I reminded her of that and she smiled and said, "Oh yeah!"...like the thought had completely slipped her mind.

She's a goofball!

She spent the whole walk to school trying to sucker me into holding her backpack for her. I told her its my birthday and I don't have to do anything I don't want to do on my birthday. She said, if you carry it today, I'll carry it on Monday, which we all know is a fib the size of China. She'll just say she doesn't remember on Monday. We have been down that road before. Sparky knew she was screwed when Spanky agreed with me that I shouldn't have to carry her backpack on my birthday.

As we neared the school, Skippy saw that her class was already lining up so she started to speed walk to the line. I yelled to her and said "Have a great day, I'll see you later!" She turned and nodded her head. Then Sparky shouted at the top of her lungs..."HEY (insert name) don't forget to tell your teachers and the kids in your class that today is Netter's birthday and that she's 40!" Sparky turns around again,with a HUGE smile and shakes her head like one of those bobble head dolls. Adults as far as 1/2 a block away are amused by this.

I then walk Sparky the rest of the way to her nursery school. In the hall, she tells Max and his Dad that its my Birthday...stressing my age. Once the door to her room opens, we stroll in and her two teachers, Miss Donna and Miss Allison immediately tell me Happy Birthday before Sparky can even open her mouth. Her teachers inform me that Sparky has been talking about my birthday all week. She'd been very excited about it.

It's been kind of fun having a build in announcement system...but if I wanted her to tell everyone my business, she'd clam right up.

The day is almost here...

I've only got another 38 minutes or so until I hit the big 4-OH. I
t snuck up on me, super fast too. I'll let you know how my day fairs.