Wednesday, April 11, 2007

..but why?

I went to bed last night in a good mood. I had been working on a couple projects and things had been going so well. I just got tired and decided to sack out. I woke up at 4 AM. I was wide awake and sad. Not sad for any certain reason...just super sad in general. I don't know if I had had a dream or what, but that feeling has hung with me all morning. I almost feel depressed, melancholy, if you will. This bites. I'm usually a very "up" person. Annoyingly happy, to tell you the truth. If I didn't have the oil company coming over to service the boiler and the plumber showing up to fix a leak, I'd probably be curled up in bed right now. Not sleeping... just looking at the ceiling.
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty calm, overly calm. I normally have 50 things rolling around in my brain at once. I'm usually thinking about projects that I could make or things that I could do...pranks that I could play, friends and family to call and pester, making lists of things I want to do...books I want to read, etc. Right now, my inner voice very pretty quiet. Maybe I just blew a gasket. The old brain just gave out because it was running on overload for to long. Could be. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe this is my bodies way of saying, no screaming, "THAT"S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" I guess I should just relax and enjoy it. However, If this is how monks feel when they meditate and clear their head of thoughts, ugh, I'm not sure why they do it. It's a little upsetting to me. It just doesn't feel natural.
Hopefully this fog lifts as the day progresses. It's raining buckets right now, so I think the chances are rather slim, but there is always room for hope.

Sigh...

This sucks!

8 comments:

Court said...

Netter,
I hope you get back to "normal"!! {{HUGS}} I get that way sometimes and it very odd. This to shall pass as they say. We will blame it on the rain. Hope your day gets better..

Unknown said...

ugh I hate when that happens. I call it my out of sort days or if it's really bad my I am sooo not in a good head space days.
I hope today is better for you!

Peg said...

I hope you're feeling much better now. With as active as your poor brain normally is, I can see why it needed a rest!

Maybe it's Spring Fever - a few of us seem to have it.

Netter said...

Hi Ladies...thanks for the hugs and well wishes. I hope this passes quickly. I really don't like feeling this way. I like the idea that it is Spring Fever...after all, with this icky weather...it would make sense. The idea of planting flowers and spending time in the sun, lathered in sun block is actually very appealing right now.

Court said...

Thank you for my birthday wishes Netter!! {{HUGS}}

Anonymous said...

{hugs} I'm feeling kinda funky too. I'm sure the weather is making you feel out of sorts. You'll feel oodles better when the sun comes out.

Netter said...

Sue~ I sure hope so!

Court~ You are welcome...have a great day!

Rockstar Mom said...

Gosh Nette, we were exchanging e-mails this morning and I never picked up on it. Lousy friend I am. But sometimes it's hard to detect emotions out of mere text.

So, since I missed the boat this morning, I shall send you cyber hugs now.

Wish I lived close by so we could give eachother facials, and then slather on the moisturizer lotion, lay on the bed under the ceiling fan and stare at the ceiling together.

It's always more fun staring into oblivian with someone else by your side. And the cool air from the fan hitting your freshly moisturized skin is T-totally heavenly.