Everyone is making up Life lists. Sure they are a good idea, they are goals, there is nothing wrong with goals. I think it would be more fun to have an anti-Life list. I'm not talking a death wish...but a list of things you never want to do in your lifetime. Not to say that they won't happen, but they are things you don't want to do. So, here it goes, the beginning of my list:
I don't want to:
~stick my fingers or any other body part in moving fan blades
~cliff dive
~eat any type of rodent
~roller blade
~be strip searched
~have a cavity search preformed after a strip search
~smuggle any illegal supstances into the country, or any country...whether I know it or not.
~ shoot a living animal
~pass gas in an elevator
~shake GW's hand or be forced to have a conversation with him.
~break another bone
~put in contact lenses
~be in a plane when it crashes
~sing the national anthem at a sporting event...or sing anything in front of a crowd as far as that goes.
~commit fraud or anything like it...I can't do time in jail.
~become paralized from the neck down, become deaf or blind.
~go along with the crowd because it is the easy or cool thing to do.
~ever have to see or speak to three specific people again...ever. (I won't name them because it isn't nice...but I'm sure they know who they are)
~wet my pants while laughing in a public place.
~be on one of those weight loss shows. Have you seen the outfits they make those girls wear on The Biggest Loser? That is just wrong.
~give up crafts
~accidently inhale cream soda again, the first time was bad enough.
~stick the two prongs of a 9 volt battery to my tongue to see if there is any juice left in it.
~kill someone...you can't even tempt me
~go to a NASCAR race....EVER.
~push another car out of mud.
~eat anything that was profiled on Fear Factor
~own or wear a pair of shoes that velcro
~contract an STD
~fall on my butt in a public place...ever, ever, again. Twice in one year was enough for a lifetime
~eat liver
~go camping somewhere where I can't take a shower for a day or two....ewww.
~spray breath freshner in my eyes.
...and the list goes on and on....
Well, you get the idea. For everything that I want to do, there is a corresponding thing that I don't want to do. I'm not even writting down the really gross stuff tha tI don't want to do because I will make Raine gag when she reads it. I have a tendency to do that. Sooner or later I will get around to making a real "life list" but for now, the Anti-Life list will have to do.
9 comments:
LOL! It's good to have a plan! I don't want to go sky-diving or run a marathon or swim across the English channel. Now a chunnel ride would be okay...
Oh yeah, no running a marathon...though the channel sounds interesting, plus I don't mind cold water.
I love your list.
What about: ingest walnuts? And I have serious doubts about the strip search one, I think if it were a Canadian doing the searching you'd reconsider! Please leave off the gross ones I hate that! You're looking at a seemingly harmless blog and the nest thing you know there's something about slimy, wet and loose poo and here comes your lunch...after you've already eaten it. Ick.
if I put the walnut thing on there...I just know I will do what I always do...take a bite and before I know it...gag. I really didn't have any of the really gross ones. I was thinking of you when I avioded them.
I can't tell you how much I needed this laugh.
That was great. This one would definitely be on my list:
~shake GW's hand or be forced to have a conversation with him.
I'd rather spray breath freshner in my eyes. (Danielle has had body spray in her eyes on accident...Apple I think it was...)
Raine~ No, No, even if those crazy Canadians I was chortling with were in charge of the search...I still don't want one...actually especially if they were in charge. I really mean it.
Sara~ I'm glad I made you chuckle. I was holding back, some of my best ideas of things I don't want to do in this lifetime are pretty gross and would make my friend Raine puke.
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