Daily Horrorscopes

Ok, I know they are Horoscopes but sometimes the are a real horror. You know, when you want to go sky diving and it says that safety device may malfunction this week, or when you have planned an expensive trip with non-refundable airline tickets and it says to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground or that you should stick close to home. Nothing bad would have happened but now you read it....and the idea is planted in your brain so if you are a jinxer like me....its never a good idea to read those stupid things. You just know that some crazy lady with 50 cats is writing them while sitting on her can. There isn't any science to it, just nutty creative writing. That is what I like to believe. Actually I rarely read those things. Really the only reason I did today was because it was right below one of those Dear Abbey type columns and on the back of the funny pages. Certain days I like to read the paper from front to back, or atleast skim it from front to back and in any case, its way to easy to skim the horoscope section. Here is today's and why my jaw dropped:

OK, what you don't know is that Thursday night I flipped out and started pulling my clothes out of my dresser drawers and closet in an attempt to de-clutter my living environment. I had reached my limit and couldn't take it anymore. I took every single stitch of clothes out and tossed it on the floor in the basement den. Basically because I could watch bad movies while torturing myself. I have been going through all my clothes, washing the stuff that I'm keeping and promising myself that I will wear again. We all know I'm kidding myself. I'm one of those people that only wear the same things all the time until they are stained and I have to trash them. Even then I decide they are house cleaning or painting clothes. I can't help it, I'm not about fashion...I'm about comfort. I now have a huge bag of good will clothes, a suitcase full of clothes to take to my Mom and Sister and a little extra space in my bedroom. OK, now after all of that I decided I couldn't stand looking at the mess I had in my large craft area. I had boxes of stuff, I had yards of fabric, I had paints, glues, beads, you name it...EVERYWHERE. I couldn't stand it one more minute so last night I created the biggest mess I have ever seen in my life. Let's face it, if you are going to clean...sometimes you have to make it look like a smart bomb went off just seconds ago, minus the fire and smoke. Yes, I created a bigger mess in the hopes that my sanity would return. Anyway, I knew that I had nothing going this weekend. The Leaches are off at a memorial service in Pennsylvania so I knew I wouldn't get a call from Jim to come over and be entertained by them. Yeah, so I planned yesterday to make my living space a pretty environment once again...or until I decide I need to be working on 5 projects at once.
Then I read that stupid horoscope column that I swear I don't believe in and now I'm starting to freak out. I think Jeraldine is watching me or something. She needs to spend more time in her can and not peeking in my windows, that is for sure! I'll call the cops on her ass if I ever catch her.