Sparky and Skippy ride again! The girls have been very serious lately. Very, very serious...about driving me out of my friggin' mind before the summer is over. They have been full of gumption lately. I guess its a good thing and any other time I'd be fine with it...but I really, REALLY need my vacation. In their defense, I always feel a little like this when I have a vacation sneaking up on me. It can't get here quickly enough. I personally think it's just me going through Rue and Phin withdrawals. Better yet, maybe its just a matter of me wanting to sit in one spot with a good book and a cold ice tea without someone one yelling, "NETTER!" at the top of their lungs...only to ask me what I'm doing. You'd think there was an emergency the way they yell my name. That seems to be their favorite question..."What are you doing?" I go in the bathroom and they ask, "What are you doing?"
...Uh, cooking dinner, what are you doing?"
"Noooo, you are not cooking dinner!"
"I'm not?
"No!!!"
"What am I doing then?"
"You are going to the bathroom but I don't know if you are pooping or if you have to pee."
"If you know what I am doing, then why did you ask me what I was doing?"
"I don't know."
"OK then! What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"Why don't you go do something?"
"No, I'm just going to wait for you."

I open the door and at some point the other girlie has silently joined in waiting, sitting in front of the bathroom door. This must be an exciting thing to do. I don't get it. I'm sure if I was in there for a few hours, they'd get bored and go away. Then again...knowing those two...maybe not.


Oh, the weekends are not off limits either.

I'm curled up in my bed on a Saturday morning and they whisper through the door, "What are you doing?" while looking in the key hole.
They whisper because if they get caught bothering me, they'll get yelled at by their parents.
Most of the time I ignore them, if I can, but when you have goofballs parked outside your bedroom door, spying through the key hole, its a little hard to ignore. You hear them whispering...
"I can see her lamp."
"Let me look!" followed by rapid movement, sort of like you might hear if someone is chasing a mouse in the house with a broom.
"I can see her foot sticking out of the covers."
"She's reading a book!"
"LET ME SEE!"
"Oh yeah! I see her!"
"I know she's awake because she wouldn't be holding the book up if she were sleeping."
I lower my book and look at the key hole, half expecting their eye balls to be bulging through the hole. Then I hear a squeal of joy and laughter as the one that has their head plastered against my door, forgets herself and screams, "She's not asleep, she's looking at me!"
That is followed by a lot of pushing, shoving and a lot of yelling.
"Move! Let me see! It's my turn now!" It's about that time that you hear an adult yell at them to get away from my door and to leave me alone. Then you hear the girls running down the hall yelling, " Bye Netter!"

They are also obsessed with undergarments and body parts. All kids go through this but its dangerous around here. I can't bend over without one of them smacking me on the ass. I don't like it. I wouldn't be that thrilled if George Clooney was the one smacking me so its not like I have a double standard or anything.
The other day, they were sitting in the island in the kitchen. I'm leaning on the island with my fore arms resting on the top, just chatting with them. Then I notice that Skippy's eyes are huge and she's got some crazy person smile plastered across her face. At first I thought a stranger had offered her candy, but that couldn't be it...there were no strangers in our kitchen. Then I follow her line of sight and realize that the little pervert is looking down my shirt and is checking out what little bit of cleavage I have. I decide not to make a big deal out of it so I straighten up and move a little bit so she can't look down my shirt. She then leans over to her Sister and whispers that I have a black bra on. A fit of giggles follows. Ugh. Oh wait, it gets better. Heaven forbid I may have to go to the bathroom in public! If I do, I try to only go when they are going as well...then I have to be quick because they will rush out and try peeking in the crack in the door. I've had the "personal space" talk and the "private area" talk so many times that I probably talk about it in my sleep. It's getting old. Even when they are sick, I'm not safe. This last week, Sparky was ill. She'd been running fevers and had ear and throat pain...no strep, no ear infection but she did have a terrible sinus infection. It really hit her hard and she basically wanted to cuddle all day. So, we took Skippy to camp and Sparky and I took it easy. Well she wanted to sit on my lap and cuddle up against me while she watched a show. This didn't bother me, I had a book I could read. She kept scooting around and it was driving me nuts and it wasn't that comfy for me. Finally, I ask her what she's doing. She said she was trying to get comfy and she wanted to use my booby as a pillow. She looked up at me and smiled...the first smile of the day. I shook my head, rolled my eyes and she started to giggle. She wasn't very happy when I told her I'd get her a real pillow and not a body part.

Like I said...I need a vacation!

I'm going to get a piece of electrical tape to stick over that darn key hole. That should drive them nuts for a while.