Every once in a while I have a dream that makes me sorry I ever woke from it. Usually its a very vivid dream, often messing with my senses. I had one of those dreams last night. I don't know what part of my brain was affected but it hit a sweet spot and mingled with my sense of reality. How? Well, for starters, I could feel the cool grass on my bare feet and I could smell freshly cut grass. I just knew I was going to be covered in chigger bites in the morning. In the dream I was a kid again, maybe 5 years old, full of more energy than I ever remember having. My little Sister was running around in the grass with me, giggling. I'd almost forgotten what her little voice sounded like when we were little. We were at My Grandma Martha and Grandpa Virgil's house in Pawnee City. They were sitting in lawn chairs like they often did in the evenings. My Mom and Dad were there as well as several of my Grandparents old card party buddies. The old timers are all gone now...but they were as I remember them from my childhood. Grandpa was plump...sitting in his bibby overalls telling a dirty joke. Everyone was laughing. People would drive by and wave, some would stop and visit. It was just so vivid. I could see ants crawling on the peony bushes, I could feel the warm breeze, and I felt content...safe and happy. I don't know what made me wake from that dream, but my euphoria didn't last as long as I would have liked it to. It wasn't real, not really... a dream a little teaser of what I'll never experience again. I just snuggled deeper into my bedding and tried to go back to sleep as soon as possible, in the hopes that my dream would continue where it left off. It didn't, at least not that I remember. So tonight, I'm going to bed with the highest hopes that I'll drift into that strange blend of dream and memories again. What I wouldn't pay to be able to feel myself spinning in circles in that yard, getting so dizzy that I fall to the ground or to crawl up on Grandpa's lap again and have Grandma bring me ice cold kool aid in one of those bright jewel tone aluminum glasses she used to have...just one more time. That would be a lovely 40th birthday gift indeed.
