Ever wanna shout,"OK HOOCHIE MAMMA, MOVE YOUR ASS!"

I'm a patient person. I can be in a hurry and wait in a long line longer than anyone I know, without freaking out. I usually just try to make small talk with the people stuck in my line. Well today was going pretty well. I managed to run to BJ's to pick up one item, so I didn't get a cart....and as always my token one item turned into far more. I was balancing my items and ofcourse overjoyed when I managed to find a short line. The guy who checked me out was annoyed that I didn't have a cart for him to put my items in. I don't know what his deal was, he didn't have to carry them and figure out how to get the van open without dropping stuff. All the dill rod had to do was stack them in a pile, not carry my crap for me. Anyway I told him I'm known for my "no cart" antics at the grocery store, I always get a basket and pile it so high that I'm afraid my arms will fall off. I have a system. After the items are bagged, I slip two bags on each arm, up to my elbows and then the remaining bags I carry in my hands with the lock remote in my hand, finger hovering over the button. People marvel at my strength...but then again, people always do. I'm friggin strong, I can't help it. Anyway, I always joke that I don't go to the gym so this is my way of lifting weights. Anyway, my adventure at BJ's was great overall. I was in and out in less that 25 minutes. Thats a record for that place.
Then I went to the Drug store to pick up Nancy's prescription that was called in to one of the CVS's in Baldwin....nobody seemed to know which one though. I took a chance and tried the one closest to home first...BINGO...they had it. I waited in line there for 25 minutes. Actually in line, no looking around first...straight back to the pharmacy dept and on line....three people deep. I have no friggin idea what the problem was or what the hell was going on but I read the front of every box of condoms that the store had, them moved to the pregnancy tests and massage oils. I'm sorry to say I didn't expand my knowledge of any of the products nor did I learn any knew words. It was a total waste of time. I signed for the antibiotics, paid and headed to the grocery store. This is where my frustration began. I got in there and OFCOURSE there were carts blocking all the parking spots. I jumped out, moved a cart, pulled in the spot and being the nice person that I am, took three carts back to the front of the store with me. I knew an old lady would be happy to have a cart right there, waiting for her. About 4 employees on their break looked at me like I was a nutcase or something...rolling three carts to the door. It was their break...so I wasn't annoyed they weren't collecting the shopping carts but I could have done without their looks. I just smiled at them and headed in the door.
Here is when I started to get annoyed. There were no baskets in the front. Not a single basket. I had to walk down and grab a few out of one of the check out lanes. I was really nice and brought a few back with me to leave at the doors, after all I was making the trip that way. I zipped through the produce isle in no time flat, collecting my fresh veggies and checking out the fruit. I headed down the rice isle, and while I was squatting down returning to the shelves some boxes someone had knocked over I notice a lady coming my way, so I glance around and realize she can't get though the isle with my butt in the way because they have a ton of displays to my sides and a support pole behind me. She needed to pull her cart where I was squatting, so I said, "Opps, I'm in your way" and I moved so she could continue though. She didn't smile, she didn't acknowledge me at all...she just stuck her nose in the air and kept moving. I just figured it was your typical snotty Long Islander...there are a few here, so I rolled my eyes and moved on. I grabbed the chicken and steak I needed and headed down the spice isle, which seems to have a simular crowding issue. By this point my basket is exploding with stuff. I come upon a road block and guess who it is...the same lady I moved for before she even had to ask or clear her throat. She has her cart blocking the isle and she is standing in front of the cart so I can't move it forward. I couldn't move the cart backwards because there was a display in the way. I knew she knew I was there. Her purse was in the cart wide open so I didn't want to freak her out by grabbing the handle and moving the cart myself. I said, "Excuse me." In my nicest sing song voice. She still ignored me. So I waited for quite a while and once again I said, "Excuse me ,Miss" Even though she was not so young...I was being nice. She glanced at me and went back to whatever she was doing. At that point steam was coming out my ears. I thought about turning around but there were Four ladies with carts, two with husbands in tow behind me and I just had to get past her to be home free to the checkout isle, dead ahead. Finally I said, " I'm sorry but I really need though, I need to get home before the school bus gets there. She ignored me...AUGH! So I grabbed her cart, quickly moved it to the other side of a display and at that point she started to grab for her cart but I was too quick and I started pushing my way into the hole from the side, so she had to step aside and can't get to her cart. She started to mumble something under her breath...and I said, "Your Welcome" and headed on my way. I hope her eggs broke, her bread got smooshed and her milk leaked all over her car.