Below is an instant message conversation I had with Danielle. The poor kid, the things her Mother puts her through, tut, tut.
Danielle Lyons: my mom just ripped the biggest fart
asknetter: lol...in her sleep?
Danielle Lyons: \yea
Danielle Lyons: \yup
asknetter: ewwww.....
asknetter: does she do that a lot
Danielle Lyons: YES! SHES A GASSY PERSON BEWARE WHEN YOUR IN A CAR WITH HER
asknetter: oh man, you mean she waits until she has you captive and then lets them fly
Danielle Lyons: yup
asknetter: yeah, she did that as a kid too
Danielle Lyons: lol
asknetter: does she have worse smelling gas than the dog
Danielle Lyons: oh my goodness yes
asknetter: that is sad....maybe you should tell her to see a doctor
asknetter: or cut down on her intake of chili
Danielle Lyons: she does make chili alot
asknetter: ah ha....
Danielle Lyons: as a joke our neighbor gasex
Danielle Lyons: bought her
asknetter: bought her gasex....lol
Danielle Lyons: lol
asknetter: you poor thing...isn't all that gas a form of child abuse?
Danielle Lyons: yes it is
asknetter: I think we should seek help for your mother....maybe there is a support group called Gas BE Gone
Danielle Lyons: lololololololol
asknetter: I bet she doesn't even smell her own gas anymore....her senses are completley burnt up
asknetter: and she is getting older, so her hearing is going...so she doesn't hear it
Danielle Lyons: lol
asknetter: Did she even try to use that Gasex?
asknetter: might have worked
Danielle Lyons: all i can say is to keep flames far away from her
asknetter: she's a walking blow torch, huh
Danielle Lyons: yup
asknetter: if she is sitting in a chair, and lets one go...does her rear leave the chair?
Danielle Lyons: she did it again
asknetter: lol...quick...plug your nose
Danielle Lyons: lol
***This was the end of our conversation. I think Dani passed out from all the fumes.***
6 comments:
lol, sorry Cindy, I couldn't resisit. Dani cracks me up.
That is so not funny. In my defense, I think that gassiness is inherited. It is a bodily function and my uncle once told me that his doctor told him that it is unhealthy to hold it in
it is unsanitary for all that gas you let out
Cindy, you can let it rip...but you are supposed to excuse yourself and let it rip somewhere else. Otherwise you end up with a reputation for being a blower.
But since I pay the rent and for the car I feel that I should not have to do that unless I have company. Plus it is not like I know what I am doing when I sleep
Oh Gez Cindy, we were just teasing you. Fart if you want to....we all do it. You know, I knew this person that was a chronic releaser but what use to piss me off is that she would let them fly around me....and would control herself around other people. Now there are two ways to look at that....either she was relaxed around me and knew I wouldn't think less of her OR she was being disrespectful and didn't give shit what I thought or felt. I think it was a mixture of both. Ofcourse there are times you just can't keep them in....and ofcourse you can't control your sleeping toots...we were just teasing you, that is all. Just promise me that you won't wait until I am stuck in the car and then once I am captive, fumigate. LOL. You know I am assuming that since you toot a lot, they are not that raunchy smelling. Give Uncle Lonnie black licorice and beer.....LOOK OUT, it will gaga you.
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