My Uncle Randy

I don't know why....but my Uncle Randy has popped into my mind about a dozen times today. I want to believe that when someone has passed on and they are haunting your thoughts, it is because their spirit is near you. Maybe that isn't it at all, maybe it is a totally random thing, a few brain cells firing that had been on a break. I went to a medium last year thinking I would just toss away the cash on a new experience. I was skeptical when I arrived with a friend. I left in a totally different state. I'm was in shock. There were to many things that he just nailed....things that were not so common or well known. No misses and all hits. It was both comforting and unsettling at the same time. I really hope that Randy does hang out with me from time to time, you know, keep an eye on me. After all, he was more than just a run of the mill Uncle. I felt like Randy was the big brother I never had. Maybe it is just because he lived with us for a year, maybe not. When you are 6 and your 16 year old Uncle moves in, takes your room, forcing you to share with your little sister, it changes the dynamics of things.

Have you ever wondered if things are already planned out before you are ever born. You know, your destiny is set in stone and the events that are to unfold are a tool to teach us something new, something meaningful. Does that mean that Randy was brought into our lives and the whole time he was heading to that car accident? Does it mean a person that commits suicide, no matter how shocking we find it, was always heading to that moment in time when all hope was lost? I kinda hope its not that simple. I'm really not one of those people that sit around pondering the mysteries of life and death. I can honestly say that most of the time I am to busy living.

I guess what this comes down to is the simple fact that I miss Randy. I miss him.