I can write about this because my parent's new neighbors don't read my site. Heck, I don't even think they know I blog....which is a good thing. You see, Chuck is a talker. Oh dear, is he a talker. I think the man talks more than I do! I KNOW... How is that possible? Chuck talks so much that my Pop battles to get a word in edgewise. It's a pretty funny thing to witness. I have a feeling that if Chuck started commenting on my site, I'd have to sneak off and start an new blog. Anyway, Chuck is a character, my Father is a character. Shoot, all their neighbors are characters. I've said it before but I really mean it this time... the neighbors kind of remind me of the characters off "King of the Hill." Any given night, you will find the men standing around in one of the driveways, drinking beer and talking about anything under the sun. They'll try to tell you they are discussing politics but really they are gossiping. Men are always trying to say that women gossip...HA, Men are the biggest gossips on Earth, they just do it in a different way. Shoot, you don't see the women in my parents neighborhood sticking their nose out the window to see what the neighbors are up to...nope, the men do that. I'm not kidding. If something interesting is going on, it won't be long before the neighborhood men show up to get in on the action. I kid you not. Sheesh, MEN!
Anyway, back to my prank. I really wanted to do this before I left but I ran out of time. So I may have to do it at Christmas.
One evening, Chuck pops over to my Parents house to give us the Comics to read. Meanwhile, we are cooking supper on the grill and Chuck's wife, Kathy, is doing the same thing. Kathy spots Chuck heading over to our house and yells at him to leave us alone because we are getting ready to eat. He yells back that he isn't staying, he's just dropping something off. Yeah, Chuck has a reputation. The comic is
Shoe. If you want to see the exact comic, just go the website, click on the strip, then flip back to July 2nd. It's the one dealing with the Desperate Dating, Inc. Oh heck, I'll just tell you quickly... A lady at a dating service is talking to a guy, she asks him, "Do you have any hobbies? He replies, "Gardening. She says, "OH? The ladies love that in a guy. What kid of gardening?" He responds "Beer Gardening." Now Chuck thought that was the funniest thing and spend several days saying the was going to take up gardening. Chuck is a big beer drinker, to say the least. One of his favorite sayings is that "you can't bull shit a bull shitter." Yeah, now you know what we are dealing with here. You'd better dig out your hip-waders and clip a clothes pin on your nose, the man is a handful. Shoot, he shows up every week with a bag full of sweet corn "from his garden." Uh, the man doesn't have a garden, he buys it at the store...lol. If you let him, he'd have you believing that he has been sweating away tending his garden. Oh man, he gave a guy a bunch of corn and in return he gave Chuck a bunch of freshly picked cucumbers. Chuck keeps one and gives the rest to us. Later on I see him walking back to his house and he pulls the cucumber out of his pocket and says he "better get that thing home before he's the talk of the town". I said, Yeah, you'll have all the old ladies banging your door down. He replied, "Nope, its pointed the wrong way." Yeah, Chuck keeps the neighbor hood hopping.
OK, meanwhile, the back story is that I had been having Chuck and the rest of the guys save their empty beer cans and bottles for a little plot I had brewing. I won't tell you what that was because I still might use that idea...anyway, once Chuck gave us that comic, my old idea and victim was out the door. I just wish I had the time to do it when I was back...but fear not, it will be done.
So, here is what I plan on doing. I'm going to paint a sign that says "Chuck's Beer Garden" Then I'm going to get a ton of sticks and hot glue some leaves on them from artificial flowers. Then I'm going to top the sticks with beer cans and plant them in straight lines in Chucks front yard. But first...for Christmas, I'm going to give him a bag of beer caps with planting directions. He'll love it. If anyone has any ideas about what I should write about the planting and care directions, feel free to send them my way. I think I'm going to say that planting them in December works best because it keeps the beer chilled.
Oh hey, do you have any extra beer caps you don't want? The way Chuck drinks....he's going to need a BIG garden.
I was sitting in the car, waiting for the boys to get their rears in gear...just twisting my ring around on my finger, when I suddenly realized that I never shared the joy of my new ring. Yep, after months of asking me what I wanted for my birthday, I finally found something that called to me, so The Leaches bought it for me. On the outside it says "Tutto E Possibile". The translation located on the inside says: "Anything is Possible". I wear it on my left hand ring finger for fun. Yep, I figured since everyone has given up on me ever getting married, I should subtly remind them that you shouldn't count your chicks before they are hatched...maybe my chick just takes a little longer to incubate. Let's face it, I have never been the kind of person you can rush. I just get cranky and stubborn. Yeah, its not a pretty sight. Anyway, I don't always wear it on my left hand ring finger...because it could easily resemble a wedding band and that would defeat the whole purpose of the ring. That would be what I would consider a backfire of my plan. Anyway, I love the ring and I'm going to make sure I have it on the next time I'm home and Donnie Gottula says to me, "Let me see that hand." Then when he goes on to say how disappointed he is that there isn't a engagement ring on it, I'll explain what my ring says. 
